


Scorpion Dilemma

by EriiErii



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Amnesia, Developing Relationship, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mild Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Resurrection, Transformation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-11-28 20:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20972714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriiErii/pseuds/EriiErii
Summary: In trying and failing to dispatch Loki singlehandedly, she transforms Lif with both a blessing and a curse. No longer undead, but without his memories, he is left to Kiran's mercy as he and the Order of Heroes find him clinging to his newfound second life. Though it takes little time for Lif to feel drawn to Kiran, and Kiran's friendly nature to return such feelings in short order, there are some things that aren't as simple to forget, despite Loki's efforts. Though he transformed into something alive, perhaps it's not necessarily as a human. Whether or not this will come back to haunt Kiran, only time would tell.





	1. Trick and Treat

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

"You know... after all those years, you'd think you would know better than to try to attack a lady behind her back."

But then it was too late for Lif to back out now.

He thought he could get the upper hand. He knew Loki was among the bigger obstacles to his and Thrasir's goals, but he thought that he had her all figured out since the countless of times he clashed with her in his own world, and the one time he gained the upper hand. If he could take her out of the picture right away, he would put Alfonse and the others in an even worse position to counter him and Thrasir, and they could strike their plan far sooner.

But then this was _Loki_. He should know better than to ever trust anything about Loki was easy, obvious, or straightforward, not even when she seemed badly hurt.

She was, after all, a trickster.

"You know... Kiran had some rather interesting ideas. And you especially seem to have rather interesting timing."

She spoke freely with little fear of him. After all, he was completely bound limb from limb with pumpkin vines her magic manipulated. Whereas the rest of town were heavily distracted with the festivities of the Nohrian harvest festival, Lif was tightly bound by the throat to ensure he couldn't call anyone when his broken, masked mouth couldn't be bound directly otherwise. He was even more aware that for all the precaution Loki took to ensure he couldn't easily break out under her and attack back, she had a caution of a more uncomfortable sort with the way the tip of Thökk brushed along his abs and lingered just above his navel.

"It seems in his world, there's a thing much like you called a 'zombie'. Oh, but... I suppose I must give credit to Hel that people like you have a little more flair than a more traditional zombie, hm?"

He wanted to protest, but the vine against his neck tightened just enough to threaten to crush the guard lining along his throat.

"Oh, _sorry_. Was I perhaps being too rambly for your tastes?" Not that she really cared, but did quite the job of feigning offense all the same. "Well, no matter. The point is, there's apparently oodles of ways to kill a zombie, according to his silly little tales from his world."

Lif's eyes narrowed and glowed ominously. Unfortunately, his words were still choked out before they could properly form, and Loki knew whatever threat he could make on just looks alone were hallow.

"But there's one method that's particularly interesting. Apparently, the undead are rather susceptible to healing magic. Imagine that! A healer who kills trying to heal and revive the dead! Wouldn't _that_ be quite the sight if that were true, hmm?"

He already hated it. He tried to thrash harder, but to no avail, especially as the vines grew tighter.

"Well? Shall we try it, Lif? I'm sure you're about as done being Hel's little toy as I am, and I'm in an oddly charitable mood, if I do say so myself."

No amount of his fighting would convince her otherwise, and it didn't bring him any closer to freedom either. The tip of her staff already began glowing with a sinister, purple aura.

"Oh, but don't worry. I know there's more to it than just physical pain. I _am_ a healer, after all. You'll feel far happier that you'd hardly remember a thing when I'm done with you."

Powerless to stop her, he could feel her magic seep through his body, already infecting him and polluting his bright neon blue plasma coursing through his body. The worse the pollution became, the more it felt like he was burning from the inside out, until he was left screaming and writhing between Loki's power overtaking him and the pumpkin vines enveloping him to try to silence him even further. As his voice was even more muffled, and nearly his entire body buried, he coughed and sputtered out the plasma from his mouth that originally made up much of his body as he was consumed by Loki's curse from the inside out. His voice weakened, his head grew heavy, and as his once-dulled nerves restored, it was just in time to force him to feel this pain in all its excruciating detail, until his world turned cold and dark.

* * *

  
"Who...?"

"O-oh dear, is that a...?"

"Kiran, wait, don't get too close!"

"Wait, Prince Alfonse, it's ok. I-I'll go with Kiran too."

He opened his eyes, but just barely. His vision blurred, but he tried to force himself to focus. He could hear voices not far from where he was, but he realized he was covered in enough vines to leave little else but a tiny peephole that barely help him see just a few inches above the dirt and grass. He could hear footsteps draw closer, but only saw one person out of however many were surrounding him, and only part of one of their black boots until the vines parted slightly.

"O-oh, Kiran, wait, there's thorns here..." The voice belonged to a timid, soft-spoken girl, but not the voice of the person immediately standing over where his face was. Instead, the one closest to him was the one who was the most stubborn to try to part the vines away regardless. He was soon much more aware of the faint scent of copper.

"Kiran, please, listen to Sakura!"

"But he's cut up too! It's hurting him, Alfonse!"

"Wait... w-why _do_ these vines have thorns?... t-they're so long and big..."

"Here, stand back. At least let me cut them first before you damage your hand further..."

Even if it took a moment of bickering, eventually, the vines parted far enough and crumbled to pieces as one of them hacked away. The dim illumination of the distant lights of the night was just enough to expose him to the source of the voices. He could vaguely see a blonde girl dressed like a witch, and a red-haired girl stand beside her with a general pumpkin-themed outfit, but he was much more aware through their hushed whispers the most timid of the voices was a pink-haired girl in a kimono with cat ears and a pair of tails. The one who cut him free had been a boy with short blue hair and brief blonde accents contrasting his similarly dark, vampire themed costume, already taking a step back and looking down to him in heavy concern. The less careful one was another boy, whom he caught a glimpse of a cut up hand the cat-girl carefully took to try to help heal with her hastily pulled stave, all while he kept the rest of his body hidden under a heavy, green cloak and an obnoxiously bright pink scarf draped around his neck and moreso over his shoulders. He could see the heavy concern on his face, but he briefly grew distracted at the boy's massive green witch hat that barely hid away his black hair, only the bangs of which gave him away.

He could see the way they all seemed to alternate from heavy concern, to outright fear of him. What he didn't realize was, from their perspective, they saw a man who was barely clothed, having exposed a heavy portion of his abs, abdomen and hips, and whom was clearly and forcefully bound by his lower face in a mask that muzzled him. Such heavy exposure of himself wouldn't have been such a huge deal, were it not for the aforementioned multitude of unusually long, sharp pumpkin vines that already stabbed him all over, varying on how deep they dug into him. There was an unusual blue plasma clearly leaking out of the side of his mask and forming a pool beside his face, and while his red eyes were unusual, but not concerning on their own, they were marred by the heavy bags under them and an overall dull, sickly look. It also didn't go unnoticed the ways his body showed subtle signs of being a mess from the prominence of his muscles and faint sight of his ribs, to the way he looked on the verge of passing out again.

"H-he looks horrible!"

"Gods... And he's still alive. Who knows how long he's been out here like this... Sakura, can you help him?"

"I-I can try... But... h-he's in such terrible shape, the poor thing... U-um, Kiran, please, help take his mask off or he might choke..."

"I'll help you with the vines as well, Sakura. Anna, Sharena, go find any healer you can!"

He was vaguely aware of the blonde and red-haired girls running off. While he felt the vampire and cat-girl move closer to his chest and abdomen, feeling all manner of things from their touch on his cold skin, the pain and aches in his body stirring up worse so at the attention, and the way things were pulled out of him or poured over him otherwise, his focus drifted on the boy to remain. The mage boy moved closer to his face, initially stunned how tightly clasped the mask over the fallen swordsman's face was that it initially flustered him of how to take the mask off, especially as certain parts proved surprisingly sharp in spite of such close proximity to his face. As feared, when the mage finally tore off the mask through trial, error and even more cuts to his hands in the process, the swordsman choked out and sputtered even more of the unusually glowing plasma that dulled in vibrancy over such a short time like the dim plasma surrounding him. He looked up to the mage, trying to take a breath even when it felt like the chill air pierced his lungs repeatedly with rows upon rows of needles every breath.

"H....h-help..... help me..."

He wanted help to be put out of his misery. For some reason, he felt a massive amount of shame and guilt hit him all at once, but he couldn't remember why. Why did he end up here? Why does it feel so painful looking up to this mage? And why did he feel like he wasn't worth all the effort all of a sudden? He didn't know, but he tried to beg for them to help him to take his life, even if he struggled too much well before reaching the 'die' part of 'help me die'.

"W-we are, we're trying. Hang in there, ok?" And as he couldn't convey his full meaning, the mage was quick to think he was begging _for_ his life instead. He wasn't sure why, but having this mage go out of his way to try to soothe him and brush his face both comforted him and pained him at the same time. When he couldn't help in the way the vampire or cat-girl could with his actual wounds, the mage seemed focused on trying to keep his focus on him. He felt so gentle and warm that he felt it easier to kid himself that things would be better.

"Who are you? What happened to you?"

Good questions, not that he could answer the more critical of the two. Even if he could feel the way the cat-girl healed his wounds for every exposed hole the vampire made to pry out the thorns, the mage soothed him far more than the healing from her magic or the vulnerary repeatedly poured over his body. He could feel the world around him turn dim and his eyes feeling heavier again. He couldn't tell if the healing from the cat girl or his own creeping exhaustion was catching up to him, but for the mage, something stirred in him that made him want to push himself just enough to get his name to him before he'd faint again.

"L-Lif... I..." He choked out what remained of the plasma stuck in his throat, but his point was clear enough for the mage to understand for the words he managed to force out. He gave his name away out of reflex faster than he thought of it. He didn't even remember if that was really his name or not for sure, but his vision blurred again and he lost consciousness before he could think the matter further.

* * *

They did what they could to help him. While it took some time to find Lucius and Elise, Sakura tried her best to do what she could for Lif on her own to at least help mend his wounds while the other two healers reached him in time to stabilize him to transport. Thankfully, he was taken back to their base of operations without further incident, but even with him being technically fixed of the more obvious physical injuries, he showed subtle clues of the way his body started deteriorating beyond just what the unusual pumpkin thorns did to him that wasn't as easy to simply heal away. Lucius in particular had realized Lif seemed underweight, he had a sickly pale tone to his skin, there were heavily dark circles just under his eyes, and when he and Mist checked his eyes directly, the red hues were severely dulled and dim.

By then, the Order of Heroes and Sakura had all stripped out of their costumes and into more casual clothes, particularly as it got too late in the night anyways. As festive as the spirit was in Nohr, the heavy concern over the fallen swordsman deflated their mood to continue celebrating, Kiran's in particular.

"So... how is he?"

"He's alive, but he is still very weak..."

He was touched of the summoner's concern. Looking over to where Lif rested, Lucius couldn't blame him, especially as he came to know Kiran to have a gentle kindness he himself was brought at ease with. By then, Lif was still unconscious, but breathed gently as if he fell asleep instead. His body was littered in bandage wraps, moreso all over his abdomen than anywhere else, just to try to ensure his wounds could have time to mend in full. With how there were light red splotches dotted haphazardly on his wrappings, their concerns of Lif's delicate wounds rupturing and reopening proved sound, particularly during his earlier transport.

"And you say his name was Lif, Kiran?"

"Y-yeah... It's what he told me before he passed out again."

By contrast, where Kiran stuck by Lif's side in his lingering worries, Alfonse, Sharena and Anna still kept their distance, even if Sharena of the three seemed just as anxious to mirror Kiran of getting closer. With such a name, Alfonse tensed a little more, especially with how he looked so similar to him. The differences were slight, from his build and height, to their contrasting eye colors of red over blue, to how Lif's hair was tipped silver, rather than blonde and seemed longer and rougher, but...

"Alfonse? Is something wrong? You seem _really_ distracted over Lif..."

So distracted, in fact, that Alfonse had barely noticed Lucius and Kiran surround Lif at either of his sides, and was even less aware of Sharena gently shaking him by the shoulder a moment ago. He shook his head. He wasn't a fan of Kiran being so close to Lif, but in Lif's weakened, unconscious state, and with Lucius in such close proximity, he knew Kiran was more than likely safe.

"Ah, it's just... hm... Lif..."

"Do you know him, Alfonse?"

Something about him didn't sit well with Alfonse, but he wasn't sure why. As much as Sharena grew even more worried, he patted her hand in trying to process it.

"Well... no. Not him specifically at least, but his name struck me as odd, in a way."

"Really? Why? ...Although come to think of it, I feel as if it's familiar, somehow..."

"It should, yes. The Lif I'm thinking about was a man spoken of in many of our history books. Specifically, he was the progenitor of the Askran royal family... a true king. The first. He formed a pact with the divine dragon, Askr. Through that, he gained the power to open gates to other realms, the same power we inherited... He united the kingdom he named after that dragon, and he became a true hero with his power."

"First king?! But, I mean...! Surely he isn't _that_ Lif. It's been so long! By now, our ancestor would've been long gone... There's just no way!"

"Right, of course. It isn't quite that, it's just the name surprised me..." But where Sharena had a good point, he still couldn't help but find Lif strange in some way he couldn't completely articulate or prove. Something of him seemed familiar, but he wondered if that familiarity extended past Lif's looks.

"It _is_ a fairly popular name among Askrans, as are 'Sharena' and 'Alfonse'." Where Alfonse still seemed uncertain of his own thoughts, Anna tried to weigh in as well. "It's possible that if he's Askran, his family thought highly of King Lif as well, and named their son after him. It also isn't uncommon for people to idolize historical figures as to revolve their whole life around them. Why, even _I_ was named after one, too!" Which, then again, so were many of Anna's sisters, but the devil were in the details of her point.

"That's fair..." And if any case, it made Alfonse contemplate such being the case. With the minor details of being just like him yet slightly off, he did find it plausible he intentionally tried to mirror him. "But I suppose we must hold back on our theories until he awakens again... We don't even know for sure where he came from or how he wound up in Nohr. For all we know, he might actually be Nohrian over Askran, and he simply grew up learning Askran lore."

Which, if he was, it did make Alfonse feel better of the idea a swordsman tried to emulate what, from his perspective, was a royal in folklore. The style of his previous armor and clothes also made decent sense to be Nohrian. Then again, with the mask muzzling his face and how dangerous the design proved to be just to take it off, he didn't rule out the idea either that someone forced him into that outfit.

"Lif...?"

But speculation could only go so far. As if on cue, Lif moaned softly as he immediately felt how much his body stiffened and ached, even if the intense pain from before thankfully faded away now. He opened his eyes, but only a little. The first he focused on was Kiran, noticing he was no longer a mage who dressed in a manner as to keep himself mostly concealed, but now stripped to simpler clothes that exposed he seemed to have hidden an entire ponytail under that hat from before, and a thinner and frailer frame hiding under the thick, imposing cloak he wore earlier. Where Kiran didn't share much caution of being so close by his side, Alfonse was far less willing to give Lif the immediate benefit of the doubt to do the same. Still, Kiran caught the rest of their attentions, even if Lif took a little longer to realize Kiran wasn't the only one there.

"...Why?" His voice still seemed weak, exhausted, and was barely different from a sigh.

"Why what? How are you feeling, Lif?" Out of them, Kiran was too relieved to see him awake to notice Lif hesitated to voice he had other ideas. He seemed to look away in hesitating to voice out where his thoughts went to answer the first question before deciding to skip it altogether to focus on the second one.

"Tired..."

"Lif, we were wondering if you could answer some questions for us. That is, of course, if you're able." At least he and Kiran both noticed how Lif seemed well enough to speak a little easier compared to before, but Alfonse planned to try to condense his questions to give Lif a chance to give shorter, easier responses.

Already, he couldn't help but notice a subtle shift in attitude. Something about looking to Sharena made him slowly break eye contact from the Askrans. With Kiran, he spoke actual words, yet all Alfonse got in return was a hesitant, heavy sigh. Was he resigned? Too tired for this after all? Did he already not like him? Something about Lif seemed distant, hesitant and almost depressed, but he was unreadable of why so.

"I do apologize, especially asking such so soon after you just woke up, but Lif, there were matters that are rather pressing to know as soon as we can. For your sake, if not also for the sake of preventing another similar attack, I mean..."

He was slow, but he nodded in understanding Alfonse's points, if reluctantly so. Yet again, he wouldn't actually speak to him, and he looked at nothing in particular, almost as if out of some sense of shame. What was so shameful of this all of a sudden?

"Where did you come from? Were you from Nohr? Or perhaps Askr?"

He didn't answer, but he did have all the visible tells he didn't ignore Alfonse either. Unfortunately, he took a concerning amount of time to think about it, which became all the more distressing when he tensed up in visible frustration for some reason. Maybe it was an uncomfortable subject?

"Who attacked you?"

He still seemed to give _that_ some thought as well, but yet again he came up with more frustration and visible tells of his distress, yet no answers.

"Lif?"

"I... I don't remember..." Still confirming his suspicions at least, he finally spoke again, but only when Kiran prodded him first over Alfonse. He did seem genuinely upset over it all as not to think he held some kind of grudge against Alfonse so soon, but the coincidence wasn't entirely lost on him either. "I don't remember any of it. I'm sorry..."

"Oh! So he has amnesia then... You poor thing..." It was debatable if any of the others noticed what Lif was doing, but Sharena already tensed with worry at the revelation.

"So you only recall your name, then? And that's all?"

Lif hesitated, yet again trying to force himself to remember anything he could to answer Anna, but in his growing frustrations, he sighed and shook his head again. At least Alfonse took a little comfort it wasn't just him he suddenly turned quiet on after all.

"What was the last thing you remember...?" Kiran tried to ask as well, somewhat catching on as well, but thinking Lif was perhaps more shy than he really was, rather than a matter of trust. At first, it seemed that Lif wouldn't answer him either, but for all the blanks he drew in failing to answer Alfonse or Anna, he tried one more time to push himself to recall anything he could prior to seeing Kiran.

"...There was a mage... I was caught in vines until I was buried. I-I don't... I don't remember how or why I was there, but I was in so much pain as I was buried away. I can't remember anything else except how you found me..."

"Do you remember anything about the mage who did this to you?"

"No... It's like a blur..."

He tried all he could to answer Kiran, but his memories felt far beyond his reach. Already, Alfonse, Anna and Sharena were drawing the conclusions of the mage wiping his memories, and it was unfortunately well out of any of their hands of how to undo such damage to confirm or debunk it. Even Lucius frowned in sad frustration that it was beyond his capabilities to restore Lif's memories either. The entire time, he remained quiet in giving them all a moment, but still dotted on checking Lif's vitals while he was distracted.

"T-then again maybe he's just too tired to answer stuff like that right away! He just woke up, after all, my mind would be in a fog too first thing in the morning, let alone after such an attack like that." Stubborn to still give Lif the benefit of the doubt, she tried to ease his guilt through justifying it. To her credit, Lif's demeanor softened.

"Maybe..." Lif wasn't entirely convinced his loss of memories was a temporary lapse, but he still agreed for the sake of it anyways. Besides, it wasn't like he had any idea what the truth was. As much as Lif tried to be patient regardless, Alfonse and Anna clearly had more to ask, but in their frustrations, they also relented to her point.

"It's still helpful information for what you could tell us anyways. Thank you, Lif."

"And perhaps it would be best for him to rest more..." At last, Lucius found a point he felt confident enough to speak up. To his massive relief, not only did nobody take offense, but agreed. With little else that could be done, they did relent to try to give Lif space with Alfonse and Anna leading the way out.

Lucius stepped away at the same time to go gather new bandage wraps to redress Lif's wounds. Of the four Order of Heroes, Kiran was the slowest to leave. He hesitated, slowing in his steps and taking timid glances every so often with Lif, escalating from curiosity to heavy worry every time he looked back. It was then Lif, in watching him, started to notice Kiran's hands were wrapped up at the palms with bandages of his own.

"Kiran."

Just as Kiran was about to leave the room at last, he was quick to snap at attention to turn to look back to Lif. He wouldn't have damaged his hands to such an extent of it weren't for him. He couldn't just let the summoner go without at least saying something.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you." He meant the damage to Kiran's hands, but when the words left his mouth, he somehow felt they came out much more heavily weighted than he thought. Either that, or his heavy exhaustion was getting to his head.

"Oh! No, it's nothing. I mean, it's alright, nothing to worry about, Lif." Lif's words were so heavy, in fact, it almost drove Kiran to a slight panic to reassure him otherwise. Between the mask and the thorns, Kiran knew it was just his poor impulse choices of diving in things without a clear plan.

At least it brought him some relief to see Lif smile, even if he tried to (not so) calmly rush after the other Order of Heroes.


	2. Edge of Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Lif was just about ready to give up, Kiran proved too stubborn otherwise. Although Kiran was easy to win over, it remains to be seen how the other Order of Heroes feel of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Since Lif's rescue, his condition weighed heavily on the minds of the Order of Heroes, but especially Kiran's. With little else that could be done, Lif remained in the infirmary for the whole day, heavily monitored by a constantly cycling team of healers who alternated between tending to him, or tending to the few poor unfortunates who got hurt in what would otherwise be their typical, daily routine. Somewhat fortunately, there has yet to be another patient who suffered from ailments or injuries anywhere near the same magnitude as Lif's. In barely a half an hour or less, they would leave in much better spirits, leaving only Lif as the remaining patient time and again.

Well, Lif and Kiran, rather.

The first time Kiran visited, it was late in the morning just after he got done with his first series of training drills with the newly recruited heroes. At first, he showed up to the infirmary as a follow-up to have his hands checked over just to see if the vulnerary took effect or if his cuts reopened. Fortunately, he managed to keep his hands relaxed long enough for the skin of his hands to strengthen the mending and completely heal. But when he eyed Lif, and the way the swordsman fell back to sleep much of the earlier chunk of the morning, Kiran hesitated.

He knew Alfonse spared little time to seek out the royal Nohrian siblings, particularly with Elise's aid and prompt in believing they would know best out of all of them. Without hesitation, he immediately asked all he could about Lif, especially with Elise's description of Lif's looks and a piece of his armor in hand. Not only did Xander explain that such elaborate armor would usually be reserved for retainers, generals, or the royals themselves, but he confirmed Lif was neither directly a captain of Nohr's royalty, nor likely that of any other political figure lower down the ranks. Since then, Kiran and Sharena were rather quickly grilled with Alfonse's concerns, suspicions and cautions that, while Kiran knew such came from good intentions in his heart, seemed almost entirely rooted from distrust and borderline paranoia of assuming more of Lif than he could prove was sound. _Something_ about Lif still left Alfonse with an unsettled feeling he couldn't shake off, moreso with the spike of anxiety now that Xander confirmed he likely wasn't Nohrian, but while he made little secret of it all, he also couldn't fully explain it either beyond warning Kiran and Sharena off getting too close to Lif, a concern Anna backed.

Alfonse was always one to know and plan best, Kiran thought. He couldn't deny it that although he took the role more akin of a general, he had all the makings of a tactician. Maybe under normal circumstances, Kiran would sigh, nod and relent like Sharena with little protest, but this time seemed widely unfair to make such a judgement call so quickly when Lif had yet to fully recover.

So for the first time, Kiran went against Alfonse's request. It wasn't so blatant as to rub it in his face, but in spite of his attempts, the next few times he swung by to check on Lif, it was nowhere near stealthy enough to avoid the healers noticing. Some tried to play into Kiran's attempt by looking the other way of it, such as Lucius or Sakura. Others, like Elise and Lissa, were more amused in playfully calling him out instead, which just led him to panic more of running away from the doorway to the halls the first few times. He only braved Lif's presence just long enough to leave a gift at a nightstand beside his bed once.

That last time, the healer in charge, Lucius, knew Lif needed to wake up anyways, but while he didn't antagonize Kiran (playfully as it may be for the others), he was surprised when Lif already stirred well before Lif could catch Kiran, let alone speak to him. 

As Lif looked over, and Lucius looked past him, Lucius perked in realizing Kiran left a light's blessing on the counter as a gift. As confused as Lif was of taking much too long to recognize the pendant for what it was, Lucius was stunned of Kiran leaving such a thing in the first place.

  


Even with Lif awake, however, he was still in terrible health. There was only so much a steady dose of vulneraries or elixers could do, particularly when Lif consumed more of either than actual food or water. He tried, but when he wasn't exhausted to a point of wanting to pass out again, he just wasn't interested to try to eat. When prodded anyways, anything he swallowed felt like painful needles jabbed him all throughout his throat down to his stomach, like opening channels to him that were long tightened up and neglected up to then, only to painfully force themselves to widen now. To say nothing of the massive nausea that crept up of wanting to vomit out what little he could bring himself to eat anyways. It was easier to just give up bothering and sleep, come what may of it.

"Lif..."

Almost easier...

“Aww, Kiran… It was nice of you to keep coming by, but isn’t Alfonse gonna be mad at you if he catches you? You saw how uptight he got after what Big Brother said…”

“I-I know. He um… It’s just that…”

“Ah whatever. You’ve been showing up this much, and Lif seems more relaxed whenever you’re around. I won’t tell if either of you won’t~”

“Thank you, Elise…”

“I-I mean… if you two are sure it won’t cause trouble with the Order of Heroes t-then… it’s… probably better this way anyways…”

“What do you mean?”

Lif slowly opened one eye. He didn’t open it wide enough to give himself away, but as much as his head spun too much, and his stomach cramped too sharply, he resisted the urge to sleep through the pain to overhear Sakura, Elise and Kiran talking to one another. Kiran focused completely on the two healers, and they had their backs turned to him. Even without seeing their faces, he heard and saw enough of the healers to know Elise seemed less bubbly and enthusiastic than usual, and Sakura was much more worried.

“U-um… well… Lif won’t eat… He refuses no matter what any of us say. It was difficult enough to get him to drink vulneraries, let alone eat or drink. A-and his condition is already critical as it is. If he won’t cooperate, then h-he might...”

She didn’t have to say more. Her point was made clear. It was more than enough for Kiran to shake his head in growing frustration and worry, especially when he didn’t fully understand why Lif would do this. From how deflated and stressed Elise and Sakura looked to watch him, they had their own concerns as well of what else could be done, but had slightly more context to know it wasn’t a matter that could be solved by brute force and medicine alone.

“...Is it ok to talk to him?”

“Yes.” Before Elise or Sakura could answer, Lif spoke for himself. In outing himself as awake all along, he noticed both of the healers jump, Sakura moreso, and all three of them to turned and stared at him in their surprise. With his eyes open, if still partially, he turned his head just so as to get a better look to Kiran of the three.

"Lif… is something wrong?" As surprised as Kiran was, he was also timid. For all the times he snuck in and out to visit him, this was the first time he spoke to him without the rest of the Order of Heroes present. A part of him found it slightly easier to open up without the suspicions and scrutiny of Anna and Alfonse judging Lif's every word or movement to respond, but he also felt guilt to think of either of the two that way. "Why won't you eat anything? Did you hear what Sakura said too?"

All he got was a sigh, and a weak, slow nod in return. Lif also drifted from looking directly at him the entire time he did this.

"Then why?! You'll get worse! And the way you are, you can't afford to get worse, or you might… you…"

But where Kiran was distressed and quick to protest, he lost his steam halfway through. At no point in the entire time Kiran protested did it seem Lif cared. He clearly listened to Kiran's point and cared for _that,_ but unlike Kiran, he gave up in regards to fighting for his life. It stressed Kiran out more when the realization sank in, worse so with how calmly Lif looked back to him, doing a fine job otherwise of masking his pain.

"...Why do you care so much, Kiran?" He spoke simply and straight to the point. After all, it didn't exactly go past his notice how persistent Kiran was, but not the other three Order of Heroes.

"Why shouldn't I…?" His voice weakened compared to a moment ago, but he remained stubborn all the same.

"You know nothing about me. When we first met, I hurt your hands. So… why?"

"Is this what all this is about? T-that was the vines, not you! Of all the reasons, please, don't make yourself sicker just because of that!"

But as Sakura and Elise shared uneasy looks between one another and back to these two, and the way Lif forced a single rough breath that seemed like a short-lived chuckle, it wasn't simply _just_ about the cuts to Kiran's hands, but the actual point was lost on Kiran anyways.

"...I see…"

"W-what do I have to do to get you to eat something? Please…" 

"You really are stubborn…"

"Shouldn't I be?! _Why are you giving up?!_" 

"Kiran…" Elise was about to speak up, but she hesitated to get between them. Sakura felt the same and gently patted Elise's shoulder to ease her enough to back down after all. Kiran's voice cracked more, and even they were stressed by the sheer contrast of how worked up Kiran was for Lif's life versus how calm and subdued Lif was to give in. 

Or at least, at first. The healers spoke in voices too hushed for Kiran to hear, least of all when he was far too preoccupied right then, but Sakura gestured toward Lif a few times in her whispers to Elise. Even if Lif clearly aggravated Kiran of how calmly he opposed him, at the same time something of his demeanor softened, and he seemed to smile a bit more.

"Wouldn't it be easier this way? It'll give your friends peace of mind-"

"_No! I don't care!_ Not like that! They're not like that, Alfonse is just being cautious… That's all… he'll come around too, but you have to prove to them otherwise! A-and Sharena's worried about you too. We all are…"

"And yet… only you are here."

Then again, as frustrated as Kiran was of being far from the best at arguments like these, he was even more stressed out in feeling like he was just justifying Lif's decision more. In truth, Lif was relenting. 

He could see Kiran was close to breaking, feeling more like he was fighting a losing battle. Realizing that he'll go too far if he pushed Kiran any further, Lif forced himself to hold his hand up a little. By then, his nerves were terrible enough that he couldn't hold his hand completely still, and though Kiran perked and didn't think twice to take it, he felt how weak Lif's grip was, how dried out his skin felt - calloused or otherwise - and how unusually warm he felt to touch. As much as Kiran realized too late what he did, and felt a brief panic at wondering why he thought to grab Lif's hand or what Lif would think, he was right back to feeling stressed at feeling Lif _try_ to grip his hand, but with lackluster results. 

"Please, Lif…"

"Hm… You really feel that way just because, then. All without a second thought..."

"Do I have to come up with more reasons?"

"You don't know me, Kiran…"

"_I don't care._ I don't like seeing people sick and hurt, especially if I could help it. And the healers are trying their best, too! This isn't fair to them either…"

He huffed softly. He might've strung Kiran along over what he thought he was so sure of, but he found it funny, in some sense, that where he held a resolve to give up that felt familiar to him, it took little on Kiran's part to make him reconsider. Maybe he didn't remember still as to _why_ he was so certain before it was better for him to die, Kiran's stubbornness and grief made him wonder if those feelings were genuine, or merely a side effect to his condition.

"Besides, it's not fair… You keep bringing up how I don't know you, but how can I if you die? I _do_ want to get to know you, no matter what you remember, but… only if you let me…"

Maybe, for now, he could test that theory with the summoner. Until he could remember whether that resolve was sound or not.

"...And that's _really_ what you want?"

"_Yes._" Kiran didn't even hesitate. Then again, he likely also didn't think of Lif's question past impulse either. 

Still, impulse or otherwise, it was an answer nonetheless.

"...Ok. I'll try harder."

"_Thank you…_" 

Elise and Sakura weren't sure what to make any of it, but the more they watched Kiran and Lif interact, the less either felt inclined to interrupt. Still, even if it frustrated them as well of the process, they definitely couldn't complain of the aftermath.

"Then… let's try now!"

"...You're going to watch me?"

"I wanna be sure!"

In short order, Elise left and came back with food. Trying for something simple, she opted for more emphasis on liquids and soft dishes just to test the waters. Kiran was true to his word of stubbornly watching Lif like a hawk the entire time since helping Lif to sit up. True to his own word likewise, Lif sighed and relented to eat a spoonful, wincing, but otherwise trying to downplay the sharp stabbing pain of the cramps already starting up again. He just as stubbornly tried to will himself to keep it down, though at least _that_ was easier with how easily the soup went down. Kiran was hopeful, but still stubborn to make sure he ate it all, and watching the summoner perk when he ate, yet deflate when he hesitated, Lif tried to keep forcing himself no matter the pain.

Kiran continued to show up the next day to do the same thing. Another dish, another meal with Kiran watching him cautiously, and another round of him relenting and forcing it down. At first, he questioned how long he could keep this up, but something about Kiran still made him just as stubborn as him to keep up this routine anyways. Sometimes, Lif had his own turn to glare sharply to Kiran likewise and turn the tables on him. Particularly when, in his heavy focus to try everything to make sure Lif ate, he himself skipped a meal, be it by accident or convenience otherwise. Eventually, he coaxed Kiran to bring his own food to join him in the infirmary, which immediately aroused suspicion of what Kiran was up to by the other three. But even with Sharena catching them, and especially with the added context from Sakura's, Elise's and eventually Lucius's explanations, Alfonse and Anna bit their tongues of it at first to let Kiran continue to test Lif's character.

Eventually, Lif didn't need as much help to get up. Ingesting things that weren't vulneraries became less painful, until he couldn't tell anymore if he became numb to the pain or if he was completely rid of it. Kiran still came by to visit him, but the goal of watching him to make sure he ate was less important over just keeping each other company. Lif's memories were still too much of a mess to remember much, but he listened patiently to Kiran slowly opening up to him. First, it was little things like telling him facts he knew about the healers and their worlds. Then it was a little more personal, like what he did in training, summoning, or fulfilling requests from Feh otherwise that day. 

"Ah! Sorry, I got carried away a lot more often now. You're probably bored to listen to me all the time…"

Except… No. He wasn't. If anything, he regretted having so little to share in return. No matter how many times Kiran had doubts in himself, Lif's answer never changed.

"It's alright. It's interesting. You needn't hold back."

And every time, Kiran had a look to him that Lif found it easier to relax to see time and again. It made the days passing feel less bleak.

* * *

"Kiran, may I have a word with you?"

Kiran perked up and straightened himself out. With how unreadable Alfonse's look to him was, it just made Kiran even more nervous in standing at attention, which made this all feel worse of how frustrated Alfonse looked to frighten Kiran into trying too hard.

"Y-yes?" Even his voice was like a student caught without his homework by the teacher.

"At ease, Kiran." Alfonse spoke with a tone as if his next words could've easily been "you aren't in any trouble." The fact he didn't _actually_ say those words left Kiran even more on edge.

"...You're angry with me, aren't you?"

"'Angry' is a strong word. Then again, I can't say I'm entirely disappointed in you either but...haa…" 

Alfonse tried to pick his words carefully. Not that Kiran was the type to jump to conclusions on purpose, but he tried to still remain calm and reasonable for a rather grey issue.

"I wish you didn't go behind my back like that…"

"I… but you were so quick to-"

"But." Alfonse was quick to stop Kiran in his tracks. "But, I see why you did it."

Kiran hesitated. He could read Alfonse's expression enough to see he wasn't necessarily won over by Lif either.

"It didn't feel fair… So he isn't Nohrian. So what? I know you don't like to open up that easily or quickly to new heroes, but to feel threatened of someone like Lif? He barely did anything, and already you act almost terrified of him. And yet you won’t tell any of us why…”

Alfonse sighed. He knew Kiran had a fair point, but his concerns weren’t unfounded, even if he couldn’t prove it yet. Then again, he started doubting himself likewise if Kiran found the need to sneak to Lif behind his back in the first place. Even if he didn’t want to drop his suspicions completely, he also didn’t want to push Kiran away, nor Sharena when she started to show doubts too.

“Will you at least promise me to be careful, Kiran? I heard what happened, and I know Lif seems to owe you a great deal. But don’t completely let your guard down around him, ok?”

“Aaaalf…”

“Please.” As much as Kiran thought Alfonse was once again writing Lif off as bad, Alfonse’s tone turned slightly tense of wanting Kiran to take his warning seriously. “I’ll concede to your point I may be acting rash, but promise me that you’ll be on your guard. At least keep some level of caution until Lif proves himself. And if you suspect anything off, tell us right away, ok?”

“Ok…” Even if Kiran agreed, it was like a kid agreeing with their parent for the sake of it. “But will you actually _give_ Lif that chance now? Especially whenever he’s well enough to do it?”

“Yes... Yes, I’ll give him more of a chance… So we have an agreement?”

“Yeah…” 

He knew Alfonse was trying. Even this much, Kiran’s tone was much more hopeful and relenting this time, even with Alfonse so reluctant in his agreement. He knew it was a lot to ask for everyone to accept Lif too quickly, but for what time he spent with him, he was slightly more hopeful to show that side to the rest of the Order of Heroes as well.

“Oh, and Kiran, would you also stick close to Sharena as well? Perhaps you could introduce her and Lif.”

He was even more hopeful at Alfonse’s request, and even more eager to fulfill it. They both knew that Alfonse couldn’t control Sharena, but compared to Kiran, her respect for her brother was stronger than her curiosity to barge in on Lif too closely. As Kiran and Alfonse parted ways, and as Kiran reunited with Sharena, he was eager to prove Lif’s character via her, and she was just as delighted to follow Kiran’s lead, having the most faith in him likewise of the three.

* * *

Except there was a slight problem in that plan.

Just as Kiran and Sharena got there, Lif was already gone.

  


Returning to the all-too-familiar part of the infirmary, Lif was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Mist had only just straightened the bed back in order by the time Kiran and Sharena arrived. Even the light’s blessing Kiran left for Lif was gone as well, with the nightstand remaining bare once more. 

“Huh? Oh, um, did we miss him, perhaps…?” Sharena _tried_ to think of it in a positive sense, but Kiran’s anxieties crept up of the worst case scenario. Sharena found it even easier to keep her hopes up when Mist also didn’t seem particularly upset, and for that matter seemed to be in a happy mood.

“Oh! Good morning you two! Ah, but are both of you ok?”

“Yeah~ We’re fine! But um… have you seen Lif?” Sharena was the quickest to respond, and she still stubbornly held onto her optimism.

“Did something happen…?” Kiran, however, was the complete opposite.

“Oh! Well, Lif-”

“Just stepped out for a moment.”  


Rather quickly, Sharena and Kiran jumped, the latter worse so. As Mist perked, and both Sharena and Kiran turned around, Kiran’s anxieties melted away to see Lif again. He wore a simple black shirt to cover the bandage wraps still kept around his chest and stomach, and the sleeves hid what few bandage wraps remained along his arms. But what stuck out most of his otherwise simple, plain looks was the pendant prominently resting against his chest, which Kiran perked in recognizing he not only kept his gift, but wore the Light's Blessing outright. Even if he was able to stand mostly of his own accord, and seemed able enough to be trusted to wander on his own without a healer tailing him, he still had to lean against the wall for support to stay standing, but otherwise seemed fine. 

“Were you both really looking for me?” He tried to keep his tone simple, as if genuinely asking, but he did find it touching that this time, Sharena seemed to be looking for him too.

“Heehee, yup! You seem way better now compared to when you first came here, Lif!” Granted, his skin color was still concerningly pale, and there was a matter of how off-balanced he was, but he came a long way from the bedriddened mess the four of them found back then.

“Where did you go?”

“Not far. I was just looking around.” Unfortunately, some things barely changed. As much as Lif seemed more willing to actually speak to them just a little more often compared to before, he still was brief and to the point. At least he didn’t go completely silent on either of them, particularly when something about these two made it difficult to want to really brush them off too easily.

“Hee~ Well if you’re well enough, I’ll gladly show you all there is to our base, Lif! Besides, now that you aren’t a patient anymore, you’re gonna need a room to stay in.”

“Hm. Wouldn’t that be a bit much to ask for?”

“Course not! You’re a friend now, right? Especially Kiran’s friend, from what I heard!”

Neither of the two dared to say a word of it, but where Lif seemed to relax a little more, Kiran was somewhat flustered.

“Heeheehee, oh, don’t be that way, Kiran. I can see why the two of you got along so well. It reminds me of how you and Alfonse get, even!” In fact, there was quite a bit of Lif that made her think of Alfonse, but with Lif’s new Askran clothes combined with the ways he already tried to follow Alfonse’s footsteps in looks, it just magnified the similarities more.

Then again, it was just a funny coincidence. After all, as uncanny as the two looked, she also saw just as clearly how differently the two carried themselves and acted otherwise.

“Sharenaaa…” 

“Heehee, you knooow, getting flustered that easily just makes it more fun to keep teasing you~ But we can do more of that later. For now, let’s celebrate, ok?”

“What, _now?_ What’s the occasion this time?”

“Lif getting well, of course! I knew he could do it, too! I’ll lead the way, ok? I already got a few ideas I can come up with. Heh~”

“Ah, wait up!”

Without a second thought, Sharena already moved ahead with a spring in her step. She didn’t initially slow down - in her enthusiasm or her pace otherwise - despite Kiran’s protest at her abrupt plans, but she had a change of heart when she noticed Lif lag far enough behind. After all, he barely recovered, and she had to remind herself that Lif might still not be well enough to take in too much all at once in spite of the excitement of it all.

However, where Sharena assumed Lif was slow from his health, in truth, he was slow because of something that came to mind. He followed the two carefully and stayed behind on purpose, feeling as if it was best to keep an eye out on the two rather than let either of the two lag behind where he couldn’t keep tabs on them. He couldn’t explain the reason, particularly when both seemed relaxed enough as to imply a sense of security and familiarity the two had in what seemed almost like home to them. But something about this seemed nostalgic to him somehow.

“Lif, come on, hurry up~!”

He sighed quietly, but tried to quicken his pace a little more. Maybe it would make more sense if he went along with their impromptu ‘celebration’, for now...


	3. What if...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things still seem calm for Askr, Lif is haunted by recurring nightmares. Is there a point to them, or are they simply bad dreams and little more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Lif tensed. He was mindful of where he stepped, but there was so much rubble that either the ground crunched as his boots crushed little pieces of the debris, or he walked along an uneven floor otherwise. What little patches of flat, solid ground he could step on came few and far between one another, and they were the only points he could see clear fragments of what used to be the palace grounds.

He immediately recognized it as the base of the Order of Heroes when he looked down at one patch, only to see the remains of Askr's insignia, woven on the unburied carpeting. 

He tensed. What happened? Wasn't the base fine a moment ago? And where were Sharena and Kiran?

He kept vigilant as he moved forward, at first remaining at a careful, cautious pace. But _something_ told him that one of them, if not both of them, were around here somewhere. Even if their meeting was brief, it took little for him to worry for the two, and he already quickened his pace to try to find them.

Something about this was familiar, but why? He remembered… fighting? That's right, he fought someone here before, but who? Was that why he made a mess of the halls? Try as he might, Lif couldn't find anyone else around here, dead or alive. Still, he pressed onward. There was more than enough debris to guess any foe would've long since been buried, and as he climbed over a particularly high mountain of the fallen wreckage, he was relieved to see the rest of the hall intact enough to run in a full sprint further down.

Sharena and Kiran weren't there. Somehow, he knew they weren't buried there with them. But the question remained of where were they if not there? Something told him to look further down the halls, so he ran without a second thought.

His thoughts were proven right. One of them, anyways.

"Kiran?"

He still couldn't find Sharena, but he at least found Kiran.

"_Kiran!_"

But something was immediately wrong. He found him in some kind of throne room, and there he was, slumped back against the throne. Lif couldn't see any obvious sign of what went wrong, but Kiran was almost as pale as he was, and he didn't initially react when Lif found him.

What stressed Lif out more was when Kiran _did_ react, he coughed heavily and violently. As the summoner tried to make a clear effort to cover his mouth and turn away, he could barely even lift his arm halfway up, much less in time to cover his mouth. Without any cover, Lif immediately saw the blood Kiran sputtered out from his mouth, along with what remained leaking off to the side of his lips otherwise. 

He didn't think to keep his distance. He was much more aware he was alone, and there wasn't a healer in sight, but he couldn't leave Kiran alone. He ran up and held Kiran close, ignoring how the summoner stained his chest with blood when he broke out in even more coughing fits.

"Kiran, I got you. We'll find someone to help you." As much as it was a tall order at the moment when so much was in disarray, he wasn't about to give up either, even if he had to carry Kiran with him the rest of the way. It was all too easy for Lif to scoop Kiran up in his arms, but with a chill, he realized he couldn't tell if he just trusted in his strength, or if Kiran was, in fact, getting lighter than usual.

"W-why…" Kiran tried to force his words out, and ignored Lif's attempts to shush him. 

"Save your strength. We'll find help." He tried to admonish Kiran, but a part of him was partially forcing himself to reason with himself likewise no matter how bleak this looked.

"Why…?" Kiran willed himself to repeat his words. Lif could feel Kiran move against his chest just in time to look down and lock eyes with the summoner, horrified at how dull and glass-eyed he looked now. What used to be faded blue eyes were almost grey and corpse-like now. "Why did you do it…?"

"What?"

"_Why?_" Kiran's tone turned accusing. He was too weak to fully convey his emotions, but underneath a heavy amount of exhaustion, there was a pained, betrayed look to him.

"Lif! Hey, Lif!"

Someone else was calling to him from down the halls. As confused as he was over Kiran's accusation, when he turned to look for the source of Sharena's voice, he instead was greeted with a wave of black energy that engulfed him and swallowed him.

"Liiiiif!"

And suddenly, he snapped awake, and found himself somewhere completely different.

"Wha…? Where…?" It was peaceful. He was outside. The air didn't feel as stiff and cold now, but…?

"Aww, I guess you're still a bit out of it after all…"

He looked up to Sharena just in time to see her frown at him with clear concern. She seemed to have stood over him for some time, but in Lif's disorientation, it took him a moment to realize why, or that he was sitting and leaning his back against a tree. It took him even longer to look around and past her to realize they were out on a field before focusing back on her.

"...Y...yes. I'll be fine, I apologize." 

At least, he was _probably_ fine. Sharena didn't seem to be in any danger or distress besides what Lif immediately inspired, but she still worried.

Right, he was out here to watch them train. Probably. He must have dozed off.

"If you're sure… Sakura said to take it in steps, remember?" At least, in trusting Lif to know best, Sharena took little time to return to her typical optimistic self that brought a weird sense of peace immediately to Lif to see it. "So don't be shy about resting more! But also… don't feel bad if you need more time in bed after all, ok?"

"Your concern is appreciated, but… I'll be fine. Thank you." This also felt familiar. Maybe he already reassured her like this a moment ago before dozing off. Probably word for word, for all he knew…

"Heehee! Really, I mean it, Lif!" She tried to trust him, but she was playful in her sense of doubts likewise. "You're almost as stubborn as my brother!"

He hesitated to argue the point, but as she shook her head in disbelief of him, she also skipped off to give him space to rejoin the others out in the fields. 

He eased and slowed his breathing to try to clear his thoughts of what he dreamt earlier. At least so far, it seemed to be just a dream about destroying a part of Askr, but from the looks of it, everyone else seemed fairly safe and calm. He stood up and held his hand against the tree for balance to scan the area, just to be sure.

He looked back to where Sharena ran. Just a short distance down the hill, he recognized Alfonse and Anna, and he briefly watched the way Sharena happily interacted with them while occasionally pointing back to him as she talked. Even now, Anna and Alfonse both still had their reservations about him, but they both listened intently for whatever Sharena had to say about him.

Then he looked out toward the fields. He could see various other people seemingly practicing training drills, fighting either mounted or on foot against all manner of things from training dummies, to shadowy soldiers he wasn't sure what to think of. He was even more stressed from every soldier he saw that wasn't Kiran as he tried to pinpoint where the summoner was to at least confirm the other part of his dream was nothing. 

Finally, once a very large, red-armored samurai stepped away, Lif sighed heavily in relief when the samurai revealed he had accidentally blocked Lif's view of Kiran, and the summoner seemed well enough to stand and shout something before a small fleet of horse-riding soldiers rode off to battle in front of him.

Lif made his way carefully back down the hill the tree stood on, thankful it at least wasn't too steep. He tried to keep himself slow and calm, but with images still dancing in his head of an essentially zombified Kiran fresh in his thoughts, he earned quite a number of passing glances and baffled stares on his way toward Kiran. One of them included Alfonse, who tensed up and also moved in the direction toward Kiran. As much as Anna and Sharena took pause of Alfonse’s sudden reaction, the two trailed behind him as Lif was unknowingly racing against Alfonse to reach Kiran. Narrowly, Lif took the lead and initially calmed at the sight of the summoner showing clear signs he was alive and well, even if he hid all but his face from view under the hood of his white and gold-trimmed cloak. Even so, only his face from the nose down was initially visible.

However, as Lif got to him, he watched as Kiran didn't seem to notice Lif standing nearby, and continued to stare out vacantly toward the battlefield while the other soldiers seemed to await Kiran's commands.

“Kiran, are you-?” At first, Lif tried to talk to him and move closer to check on him. With how Kiran acted like he couldn't see him, he felt a chill at how he found the Kiran of his dreams just before that Kiran fell violently ill. A small part of Lif knew he was perhaps overstepping his bounds, but he at least wanted to be sure Kiran was truly fine.

He wasn't prepared for how zoned out Kiran looked under the hood, and less so that Kiran's eyes changed color to a vivid shade of gold that practically glowed. 

"Kiran what hap-"

"Eyah-?!"

Against his better judgement, he panicked too much and reached over to touch Kiran's shoulder. He didn't even hold a grip yet, and he already made Kiran yelp and jump away from him in surprise, as if snapped out of a daze. Immediately, Kiran covered his eyes with his hands, as if rubbing them and trying to either hide his eyes from Lif's view or regain his sight back.

"W-wait, hold. Just give me a minute, ok?"

"Commander. Your orders?" Just up ahead of them, one of the soldiers rode his horse just a little closer to Kiran, but nowhere near close enough to get between him and Lif. 

"A-ah, sorry Reinhardt. Could you take charge instead?" Kiran was quick to manage, but it left Lif even more flustered how much he seemed to throw Kiran off of his duties after all. However, as if this seemed perfectly normal, Reinhardt nodded with neither hesitation, nor any ill will toward Lif.

"As you say." And without another word on the matter, not only did he ride back to the other three soldiers to resume what was definitely training, but had his own choice words to shout that Lif didn't pay much attention to in favor of focusing on Kiran. 

"Kiran! Are you alright? Did something happen?" By the time Alfonse was in range, he was already highly concerned in seeing Kiran rubbing his eyes, and moreso wondering what Lif possibly did to him. However, as Kiran expected as much, he was quick to wave Alfonse off with both of his hands, revealing to him, Lif, and the other two Order of Heroes that his eye color was back to their original faded blue tones once again.

"Alfonse, please, it's ok. I'm fine." He was quick to stop Alfonse in his tracks in defending Lif long before Alfonse could even voice a single doubt, let alone accuse him. With how not only how Kiran freaked out, but now rushed to defend him, it flustered Lif even more of where he went wrong.

"Are you sure?" And in all this, Alfonse still held a tone in his voice and a cautious look between Lif and Kiran that gave away how he was still too suspicious of Lif. 

"Yes yes yes. Alf, please, he just didn't know how I get sometimes with work like this, that's all." 

"How you get…?"

"I could tell you more later, maybe, but erm… When I'm out leading heroes like this, I can see the battlefield differently than the others. But it gets in the way of my actual vision when I do that, so…"

"I see… My apologies, Kiran…" At least the other major part of his dream was disproven as well, but at what cost? At least it was minor enough for Kiran to brush it all off, but it still left Lif slow to follow suit. 

"So it's fine, you two~ No more of that frowning, alright?" 

With Sharena's support, Alfonse relented. Barely. He was at least relieved he was proven wrong this time, but he still wasn't in a rush to let his guard down completely. 

"Ah, Kiran, why don't you take a break? You've been at it for quite a while."

By comparison, Anna tried to remain neutral of it. Regardless of her own thoughts, she tried to redirect their attention, particularly when she knew Kiran was up well before the sun was to finish his tasks and train heroes up to now. Besides, whatever was brewing in her thoughts right then, she thought it best to keep between her and the Askr siblings.

“But… Ah… Ok then… At least let me stay long enough for Reinhardt to finish and then I’ll go…” 

“Atta boy! It’s important to keep our heroes in top shape, but we need you too, Kiran. The effort’s appreciated, but not if it makes you work until you drop. Take more breaks, ok?”

“Yes, Commander…”

“Heehee, this is a nice change, Commander Anna! Weren’t you so stressed out the other day of meeting the bottom line no matter what it took?” Not that Sharena complained of Anna’s sudden change to encourage breaks over working at break-neck speeds, but she still teased her of it. 

“Hey now, I know where to draw the line.” And at least she was good-humored of it, even if both Askr siblings bit their tongues in knowing the difference was how much money she could make and how quickly.

* * *

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you earlier…”

Regardless of where Anna’s heart was in giving Kiran the order she had, Reinhardt finished training with the other horse-riding soldiers he took under his wings at Kiran’s request, and he still heeded her advice soon after. As much as Alfonse backed off in still struggling to trust Lif enough to leave Sharena or Kiran entirely unsupervised in spite of his promise, he gave the two space when Kiran wandered off to take a break and get lunch even when Kiran had Lif follow him likewise. It probably helped that as they were still outside, Alfonse could still see him from a far distance while talking with Anna and Sharena, and there were several more heroes a similar distance away in case something happened.

He was quickly prodded roughly by Sharena when even she realized he wasn’t quite keeping his promise to Kiran particularly well about giving Lif a proper chance.

“I should be the one apologizing to you, Kiran.” Lif kept a sandwich at hand that Kiran passed to him, although he wasn’t quite as eager to take a single bite yet of it compared to how Kiran already ate a quarter of his own in between timid, subtle bites. A part of him was intrigued how Kiran pulled them seemingly from nowhere, but something about it felt like a power he shouldn’t actually be so surprised about.

“For what, though? Seeing your face earlier, you looked pretty freaked out.”

“I also broke your concentration and caused conflict between you and your friends.”

“Ah… That’s nothing. Really, that’s fairly normal, and Alfonse was just concerned.” And granted, as much as Kiran understated it, and Lif held his suspicions of such, he tried to give Kiran the benefit of the doubt in knowing the Order of Heroes better. Besides, there was little point to argue otherwise. 

“...Heheheh… Actually, it’s a little funny even.”

“How so?”

“Well… The first time Alfonse saw me like that, he freaked out on me much in the same way you did. Maybe he forgot, but it’s funny in a way to see it again, heh~”

Lif was neither for nor against the point, but he did little to hide his smile, however faint it may be. The less caring Kiran seemed to be over it all, the more Lif found it hard to stay so uptight of it likewise, and finally relented to taking the first bite since the two settled down.

“...Ah, right. I promised before I’d explain about that, huh.”

Even when Lif said little, Kiran saw how obviously his attention perked, and with that, it was more than enough for him. He kept his sandwich in one hand, but much like how the sandwiches originally materialized in his hand from somewhere, he held out his now-free hand long enough for an unusual weapon to suddenly appear for him to hold. Something about the weapon left a weird flutter in Lif’s chest to see it. He had definitely seen it before, but what it was, what it was named, and everything about it was like it was on the tip of his tongue.

“Sharena told you better than I could about the Order of Heroes and what our mission is about, but my role in it’s a little um… harder to explain. There’s still parts to it I’m not even fully sure about, much less explain, but… As for what happened earlier, it’s because of my Breidablik that I can shift my focus to sorta see things differently. Like I mentioned before.”

“And that’s why your eyes looked different back then…” His voice came off even more relieved than he intended to give himself away with. It was better for Kiran’s eye color to change from matters he could control than the possibility he was ill or dying. Even with so little time spent together, there was a chill of anxiety at the thought of Kiran getting hurt.

“Yeah~!” Kiran missed how softened Lif’s expression was and how bittersweet he looked toward his weapon, having his own fond look of the weapon that brought so much to him by bringing him into Askr. “I’m still not sure the how’s or why’s, and neither were the others, but with it, I can see the entirety of the area. It’s like seeing everything from an overhead map, in a way. The problem is, even if I could see where everyone else is on the map, enemy or ally otherwise, I’m kind of erm… blind to my immediate surroundings, like I said… That’s why I couldn’t see you earlier, and when I did, it was like getting jumpscared having you appear over my ‘map’ all of a sudden.”

“You... I’m… sorry.” He fumbled a little in his words, initially wanting to be honest of what he wanted to confirm to himself about Kiran, but barely holding back in time in thinking better of it after all. Kiran already had enough to worry about on his own, so surely, he didn’t need Lif’s own stress from some grim nightmare or another.

“Liiif, it’s fine! Relax already!” And with that, Breidablik disappeared from Kiran’s hand again, which Kiran remained highly casual of the power he showed, albeit still left Lif curious of where it disappeared to now. “At least _now_ I could explain all this to you like this. When I first did this, I caused Alfonse and Sharena to panic way more before he and Anna helped figure out what was even happening. Haha~ They were even more worried and freaked out than you were, and they weren’t as quick to believe it wasn’t hurting me.”

“Is that other power of yours related to Breidablik as well?”

“Huh? What power?”

He figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask, particularly with how happy Kiran seemed to explain himself as it is. 

“What you did just now.” Lif pointed to Kiran’s now-empty hand. “To bring out and store away anything you hold.”

“Oh! No. That’s something else. Do you not have a convoy?”

Yet again, Lif was faced with something he felt deep down he should’ve known. And yet again, he was left lost otherwise.

“Oh… It’s alright if you don’t!” As much as Kiran worried over Lif, the swordsman realized too late he was worrying Kiran and immediately tried to straighten himself up again, if a bit too hastily and stiffly to avoid suspicion. “I didn’t initially have one before, but apparently a lot of lords have them. I guess I’m one of the few exceptions of having one without being royalty, but it seemed easy enough to give other people that same power, and it’s super convenient too.” 

“Is that so…”

Kiran quickly sent away his leftover sandwich to free up both his hands. Where Lif didn’t quite think about it before, Kiran held one of his hands and focused. At an instant, some kind of crest appeared at the back of one of his hands and glowed, as if something maintained its activation compared to how the sandwiches and Breidablik came and went so fast as to slip under his notice before. Eagerly, the summoner showed the back of his gloved palm, letting Lif see the crest in full.

“I’m not really sure how to give someone a convoy, but when you get one, they’re really easy to work with! Just focusing in general already sets it off, and with it, you can store anything you want in there, regardless of size. Even food can last forever inside there. Sharena told me when I first started out with one that an easy way to trigger and access it is like pretending you wanna summon a fireball.”

“Like.. this…?”

Not that Lif knew what to expect when he didn’t have one, but without really thinking much of it, he tried to take Kiran’s advice in holding his own hand out and at least humoring Kiran in following his instruction.

To the surprise of both of them, he flinched a little when not only did a crest similar to Kiran’s appear on the back of his palm, but he was suddenly made aware of a powerful thought in his mind that reminded him, in a way, of what he had. As it turned out, he had far more than he was mentally ready to catch up on, and intimidated himself out of keeping his own convoy active, allowing the crest to fade while shaking his head free from a headache that faded as quickly as it came.

“Oh! ….Oh, er, right, your amnesia… Guess you already have one after all!”

“Is that… normal…? Is it supposed to make you dizzy…?” Lif still took a moment holding his head to regain himself. He shared little thought or mind when he could clearly feel Kiran rub his shoulder with his own concerns.

“O-oh… Not usually, but... “ Then again with Lif not exactly prepared to rediscover his convoy, and Kiran’s guess he must have quite a bit of stuff in there, he felt guilty of overwhelming Lif too much without warning. “Sorry… I forgot to consider your memories… It does get a bit headache-inducing if you have way too much stuff to keep track of and aren’t used to it, but um… You can also allow other people into your convoys. If you need help sorting things in there…”

“That… Yes... It may be helpful… Thank you…” The headache threw him off a little, but he suffered more from being somewhat disoriented than from the headache itself. He held a soft look toward Kiran in trying to reassure him he’d be fine, even if he left it more up to Kiran on knowing what would be best in terms of how to manage his convoy better.

Unfortunately, Lif also noticed Kiran seemed to be a bit more hesitant to overwhelm him further, he relaxed when Lif proved fine after all, but also seemed nervous to bring up anything more, taking a much stronger interest in the sandwich he retrieved all over again.

“...Do you fight?”

He couldn’t let it stay that way. Not over something so small. 

“Uuum… well....” Kiran hesitated to admit he couldn’t. Even when he avoided saying such, Lif immediately guessed it to be the case.

“I could teach you.”

“You sure…?” For how recently Lif was back on his feet, Kiran hesitated to impose on him so soon. Lif nodded without hesitation.

“I do remember a little more now… It may take a little more time to regain my full strength, but with training, I feel I could regain my memories on how to fight with Sökkvabekkr.”

“Who…?”

“My sword.”

“Oh! ….Ah-! I’m glad for you!” It left Kiran embarrassed for catching on too late, but he brightened when Lif recalled the name of his weapon. It left him even more hopeful for the rest of his memories being just as easy to regain.

“Hmhmhm… It’s strange. Somehow, spending time with you, it feels easier to recall things. Or at least come close. Having said that, if you already perform training regimens like you’ve done with those heroes, then if you’ll have me, I’d like to train with you as well. In exchange, you can learn with me.”

“O-of course!” He was certainly quick and eager to agree in letting Lif train with other like-units, however… “You uh... you sure I wouldn’t be holding you back?”

“There is no shame in being willing to learn combat. Every hero had to start somewhere, Kiran.” It caught Kiran off-guard how quickly Lif tried to encourage him. More, he was gentle in his voice while doing so. “And as I am still rusty, currently, we can start in a similar pace and learn together.”

“If you’re sure, then… yeah! I’d love that a lot.”

“Then it’s settled. To start, we can train alone with practice swings once you finish your duties. When you’re more confident with the basics, I will participate in your training drills.”

“Deal!”

Leaving Kiran in higher spirits, Lif watched the summoner head back to the training grounds once he finished lunch. As much as Lif was slower to finish likewise, he took his time staying behind to at least watch how Kiran managed his drills, from the way Kiran assigned a powerful lead with every party, to seeing clear evidence of Kiran’s earlier words of being able to see the whole area based on his instructions. With clear evidence everyone were fine and accounted for, he also settled for trying not to work up the rest of the Order of Heroes by keeping his distance.

True to his word, he let Kiran decide when was the best time to start. In the time it took to wait on him, he found a pair of training swords, and a decently open field to use for themselves. It didn’t take long for him to once again earn many an uncertain stare from Anna, and especially Alfonse once training actually began. But despite Kiran taking puny, weak, uncertain swings that hardly made Lif so much as twitch out of position, and despite how instantly deflated the summoner’s confidence was of proving nowhere near as capable as many of the heroes he himself directed a moment ago, what gave Alfonse and Anna pause were the clear visual tells of Lif's care. They noticed how Lif seemed patient of Kiran, how he’d take regular pauses in their bouts to pat Kiran on the shoulder, clearly give him pep talk they were too far to hear, and occasionally helped guide him in his posture and how to swing.

“I get it, Alfonse. It’s good to stay safe and cautious, but… Look at them.”

Even Anna was starting to feel doubts in watching the two get along. She wanted to trust Alfonse’s intuition - and he was certainly the best of the four about his gut instincts - but Lif was playing his cards so well that it was harder to try to abide by Alfonse’s doubts for much longer.

“I know…” Even Alfonse was starting to concede. Maybe not all the way, but at this point, he teetered over a genuine change of heart, rather than just one for the sake of his promise to Kiran. “I just… I don’t understand. There’s _something_ about him I can’t entirely dismiss, and yet…”

And yet, he was still proven wrong so far of Lif being a threat. Even as he watched Kiran trip, stumble, and nearly faceplant in losing his balance mid-attack, Lif caught him in time before he could fall, and kneeled to Kiran’s level with more gentle encouragements and advice. He did everything he could and more in his training with Kiran that seemed too excessive for someone merely pretending to befriend them.

So why did Alfonse still feel slight dread about him? Why did Lif seem like such a stranger, and yet so woefully familiar?

“I’m not gonna go tell you how wrong you are or how your feelings are misplaced, Alfonse.” Anna patted him on the shoulder, recognizing the doubts evident on his face. “You know best about your feelings and all. But… maybe Kiran and Sharena had a point.”

“Yeah… I suppose…” Maybe it was a similar case to what he heard about Robin. Maybe it was like how Chrom and the Shepherds described him, particularly how Robin had some level of dread he’d inspire for reasons he couldn’t help, which held little bearing on his character as Chrom’s tactician. 

At least, that’s what Alfonse hoped was the case. More, he hoped it wasn’t exactly that case detail for detail, but he tried to reason with himself the meaning of this dread in spite of Lif’s character.

Anna soon left his side to focus on her accounting. Soon after, Lif extended his hand to help Kiran up as the two stuck side by side to make sure they both could keep their balance on the way back to their base. Relenting, Alfonse turned and left to the paperwork that awaited him likewise.

* * *

It was dark. He should’ve been sleeping. Maybe he was just _that_ tired, but he could’ve sworn he remembered at least _trying_ to rest. So why was he out here?

Before Lif knew, he was out somewhere in the middle of the woods. He couldn’t remember if he was looking for something, if he sleptwalked here, or even recognize where specifically he was, but he seemed to be completely alone and lost.

He wandered for what felt like hours. He walked sometimes, ran other times, but with nothing particularly standing out among the trees, he felt as if he was wandering around in circles. Eventually, the whole forest looked the same to him no matter which direction he turned.

“Lif?! Where are you?!”

He perked when he could hear Kiran’s voice off in the distance. With Kiran’s calls, he focused on the direction of where his voice came from and immediately ran toward it.

“_Kiran!_”

“Lif?! _Lif, over here!_”

With a set direction in mind, Lif ran as fast as he could to meet up with Kiran. He ran so fast that he felt as if he found Kiran at an instant. The distance between them felt like one massive, rushed blur in favor of seeing the summoner’s relief as he helped lead the lost swordsman out of the forest.

“Thank goodness you’re ok! Why’d you run off like that?”

At first, Lif meekly allowed Kiran to worry, fuss, and voice his concerns over what he did. He may not remember exactly _why_ he ran away as he had, but it didn’t change the fact he risked himself needlessly all the same and deserved it.

However, he began having difficulties focusing on Kiran’s words. He heard the sound of a heartbeat that distracted him. He tried to strengthen his focus on Kiran as the summoner looked up to him in relief and worry, and watched how he was clearly still talking to him. 

Reading Kiran’s lips, Lif could tell he tried to ask him if something was wrong. Perhaps he caught on to Lif’s focus drifting as the heartbeat proved overpowering enough that it made his head seemingly throb for every beat. He opened his mouth to try to say “I’m fine.”, but his mouth ran incredibly dry, and all Kiran heard was a strained breath.

Lif felt stressed. He watched how Kiran deflated at Lif’s sad attempt to speak, and simply shook his head in bringing Lif closer into a hug, one he didn’t protest, and one he suddenly found his body turn weak against all of a sudden. The heartbeat became louder, and as he rested his head on Kiran’s shoulder, he became heavily aware of Kiran’s neck.

The way Kiran’s neck shifted as he spoke.

The subtle signs he caught of the veins there. 

He was so close to them. The pounding became louder that it was as if something drilled into his skull every beat. 

He shut his eyes tightly. He tried in vain to will himself to ignore the pounding in his head as he tried to regain himself. It took him some doing, but all of a sudden, the heartbeats stopped, and he was back to his senses once more.

But… He suddenly realized Kiran stopped talking. He also realized Kiran seemed to lower himself for some reason, and he felt much lighter in his hold.

With a sharp bolt of panic, Lif opened his eyes, fearing the worst when his memories of the last dream reminded him of the same way Kiran felt to him then. It was then he became aware that Kiran’s voice turned soft, strained, and he slumped over against Lif before falling silent. 

“Kiran…? Kiran, what’s wrong?! Kiran?!”

Kiran’s head rolled to the other side, no longer having the strength or will to be held up by his body. To Lif’s horror, he was bleeding heavily from the other side of his neck. Lif tried to gently lower Kiran to lay down while Lif tried to tear off his shirt to staunch the bloodflow, but where he realized he regained his voice somehow, he was confused when there was a droplet or so of blood that fell onto Kiran’s pale face while Lif tried in vain to staunch his wound.

It was then he realized his entire mouth was soaked in fresh blood. He suddenly realized some of that blood was inside of his mouth, and it wasn’t his own. A part of him wanted to spit it out, already panicking over how this happened, but a far larger part of him relished the taste.

He shut his eyes and shook his head. What did he do? What happened? Why did he do this?! It couldn’t be real, could it?

And fortunately for him, it wasn’t. He shot up in his bed, drenched in a cold sweat. His heart raced, and the world spun around him, but he was otherwise still in his room all this time. 

He fell back against his bed to catch his breath. He first tried to calm himself before trying to get out of bed, thinking he needed to clear his thoughts first before thinking of going back to sleep again. Learning his lesson well, he definitely had no intentions to leave the castle-grounds, nevermind go far enough to reach the forests, but he had to at least get out of here.

“Eiyah-?!”

However, just to open his door and leave, he nearly ran straight into Kiran. Even when he stopped himself in time, he still surprised the summoner just enough for him to jump away and yelp. Even Lif flinched at the sight of him, especially with how fresh the memories were of watching the summoner die by his hands a moment ago.

“Kiran…?”

“Aha…. y-you… sorry, I…” He was flustered, but tried to regain his composure enough to avoid startling Lif further. “I um... I'll be on my way…”

“...Kiran. Wait.”

Something about Kiran didn’t sit right with him. Even with Lif’s nightmare, he tried to mentally stomp them down in favor of focusing on the summoner. He seemed much more meek and timid than usual, and it was almost like he was afraid of something. Fortunately, as much as Kiran was surprised of Lif, he stopped and looked back to him.

“Did something happen? Why are you still up at this hour?” And maybe Lif was being highly hypocritical, but to his relief, Kiran didn’t call him out for it. Instead, he was distracted in the way he looked down, as if debating whether or not to even answer.

“...It’s stupid…”

“Not necessarily.”

“How would you know? You don’t even know what it is…”

“Is it a bad dream?”

Kiran’s eyes widened and he looked up to Lif, if only for a moment. Just as quickly as Lif got him to focus on him, he just as quickly watched Kiran drift in his focus again of not having the confidence to look him in the eyes.

“...Then that makes two of us.”

“...I-I see…”

As much as Kiran hesitated enough in wanting to step away and leave, Lif made the first move in stepping back. He moved just enough to open the way into his room and quietly beckoned Kiran to come in.

As much as Kiran looked up to him in surprise, he hesitated, but eventually accepted Lif’s offer in stepping into his room. With the door closed, and Lif gently guiding him, the two sat down together on the couch.

“...Is it really so bad? Just… forgetting things, I mean.”

“Hard to say.” He didn’t share an ounce of hesitation to answer, even if the speed of which surprised Kiran. At first, he worried of speaking out of place, but with how calm Lif was of it…

“Sorry… Who knows what you forgot, good or bad. I shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss that.”

As much as Lif didn’t answer, he remained patient all the same. For what little he managed to remember, he couldn’t really form much of an opinion otherwise if his amnesia helped or hurt him either way.

“...At risk of sounding callous, I kinda wished we could swap roles…”

“About being amnesiac?”

“Um…” The more Kiran spoke, the more he realized he was just trivializing Lif’s amnesia more, and he hesitated even further to keep talking. Something about Lif made it easier to speak his mind, especially with how calm he was, and for that matter, still is. However, Kiran was also made that much more aware he was terrible of thinking before he spoke likewise. He didn’t even notice Lif cautiously reach over and rest his hand against his back, not so much taking issue as he was worrying of what Kiran was trying to imply.

“Would this have anything to do with your nightmare?”

Kiran looked away, inadvertently confirming Lif’s thoughts. He wasn’t sure what to make of this, but something about the way Kiran looked and acted, a thought came to mind that tumbled out of his mouth faster than he could stop himself.

“You’re somewhere safer, Kiran.”

He didn’t know what compelled him to say it, or to even know to say it, but somehow, the words came out. However he found the words, he managed to get Kiran to look back to him, even if he still hesitated. For some reason, Kiran wasn’t as caught off guard as Lif was.

“...Alfonse and the others would’ve been thrilled to see what my home world is like. Maybe there’s some things that I’d love to share, but… If I could, I never want to go back.” Figuring Lif guessed as much of where his point was going, he gave up in trying to resist. “I hate how something so small and stupid could taint everything so badly, but...”

He was starting to remember where he was. He was especially aware of what time it was. Even if he forgot that Lif stumbled on him by accident, rather than vice versa, he caught himself just in time to realize Lif probably wouldn’t want to stay up all night to hear about his problems and woes. He was ready to get up and leave, and took up to then to realize Lif had his hand on his back up to then.

“Ah, nevermind. I-it’s nothing…”

“...You know… Perhaps we can plan more time to train together.”

“That’s not really necessary…” He initially missed the point of why Lif would suggest it. He tried to give it more mind in noticing how not only did Lif’s hand move over to his arm, but how Lif shook his head. Somehow, he didn’t quite seem to mind how close the two were right then.

“For some, they train to get stronger. For others, it’s a good way to distract their minds when all else fails. Perhaps I used to train for that reason, or perhaps not, but we can start there. You can train to be strong enough to protect yourself. Or you can at least rebuild your confidence.”

Even if Kiran didn’t answer him, he watched how at least the summoner gave it some thought. That was, until he somehow managed to get Kiran to laugh again, weak and hesitant as it was.

“You’re really easy to talk to… It’s like you know all the right things to say somehow.”

“If you think so.” Not that he knew how to explain it otherwise, but he was relieved Kiran seemed to be in slightly better spirits. “And perhaps you’re too quick to assume I wouldn’t be interested in what’s troubling you. Or for that matter, what you have to share.”

“Well, I mean-”

“I listened to you when I was ill. I didn’t mind then, and that feeling didn’t change now. I appreciate the company and your care.”

Kiran was at a loss of what more to say, but shifted closer beside Lif, feeling a bit safer in doing it.

“You did more than I could ask for to help me. So please. Let me help you in return.”

“...Sure…”

Even when Kiran was still hesitant to fully open up to Lif all the way - be it because of his promise to Alfonse to have _some_ caution, his own insecurities, or because the memories were still too raw for him to brave just yet otherwise - it was well enough for him to take Lif's advice and try to find pleasant little things he missed about his home world to tell Lif, particularly when Lif felt some slight guilt he still couldn’t remember anything of his own past to share the same. As he said, however, he still took in every word, and only stopped Kiran when what memories he tried to trace back strayed dangerously close to something he seemed suddenly scared of and showed such on his face. The two lost track of time, and eventually, consciousness.

“Kiraaaaan. Where aaaaare yoooou? Hey, Lif, did you-? Oh…”

By the time they were found, Kiran far and well overslept past his usual routines. More, by the time Sharena found him, she not only noticed how Lif’s door was slightly ajar, but braved intruding on him just in time to see they were both still asleep, having dozed off beside one another on the couch when they got too carried away all night.

“...Awww~”

Surely, nobody would notice if Sharena gave them a few more hours to themselves after all...


	4. Fragments of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he was more familiar than they thought. Hidden in Askr were remnants of what may have been the memories Lif lost...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Both of them got into position on opposite ends of the field. With their weapons drawn and poised to attack, Alfonse and Lif took only a moment to ensure the other was ready. While Kiran trusted both of them to only do this in the name of training, he couldn't help but watch, with a mixture of excitement and anxiousness, as the two of them prepared for their duel. 

In an instant, both of them rushed up to one another and met each other blade for blade. As it was just a practice duel, the intent was less about actually striking one another and more to continue to match each other's swings, synchronizing with one another as they fought. The two already held a key difference to one another between how Alfonse fought with both a sword and a shield while Lif focused entirely on his sword, but then there were other differences in the way they handled either swords. Where Alfonse held a defensive stance and took swift, precise swings with Fólkvangr with an air of caution, he was far more careful (or far more obvious) he would try to read Lif's moves and guess accordingly when he was open for attack. Compared to Lif, who fought with a much more brutal style and tried to overwhelm him with the weight and force he put in Sökkvabekkr every swing.

Kiran watched intently for every time their blades clashed or every near-miss of the swing one took at the other. Even with the clear differences, there was also something similar about them as well. They both had a similar flow in their movement and nearly equal strength, especially as Lif trained with Kiran and regained himself little by little. It was one thing for two swordsmen to use completely different sword types and styles, like how Ryoma would heavily differ from Xander, or even Lyn and Eliwood. But watching these two made Kiran see a similar sense of deija vu from a pair more like Chrom and Lucina, or Seliph and Sigurd.

As Alfonse and Lif prepared themselves for one last all-out attack, both charged toward one another while taking up their blades for one more decisive swing each. With how intense their auras were, not only did Kiran have to remind himself this was supposed to be a practice duel, but wondered with a chill whether or not either of these two swordsmen forgot that mid-sparring either.

The two met each other one last time. They both swung their blades just as both leapt toward and then past one another. At first, it wasn't obvious what either of them did or whether or not either attacks even connected. The adrenaline rush was more than enough to initially ignore any pain they could've felt for a time, anyways.

Whatever was done, the two held themselves up as they both landed on their feet, backs turned to one another and swords lowered. The first sign they both took that enough was enough was how both of them were clearly winded and their breaths were rougher than before. They also both took their time to move out of the position they jumped to, let alone to turn around and face one another.

And then the adrenaline rush eased just enough for Alfonse to feel more than just exhaustion. He lowered himself enough to kneel on one knee and hold the side of his chest, feeling where Lif's sword struck him. It wasn't with enough force to shred through the feathery-shaped chainmail, but it was enough to at least bruise him.

But then all it took was Lif to take one step forward before his legs buckled and he similarly kneeled, but held his stomach instead. It seemed Alfonse struck him hard enough to feel a similar bruise, and it was thanks to Kiran's earlier pressure that he wore a similar Askran chainmail to protect him before dueling Alfonse with their weapons over training swords.

"That is more than enough…" It was also because of Kiran's precautions and fussiness that he also wouldn't allow them to duel like this without a healer on standby, in this case being Lucius. The fact Alfonse and Lif had the bright idea to demonstrate their full strengths with Fólkvangr and Sökkvabekkr - when a pair of training swords somehow simply wouldn't do - had all but cemented Kiran's decision to bring a healer and make the two suit up first. For such a normally-gentle summoner in most times, Lif found out the hard way he could be highly persuasive (and surprisingly terrifying) when his mind was made up. Lucius obliged, even if he was quiet through their entire duel.

"You did… you did good…" It hurt to talk while nursing his stomach, but in this case, it was a rare, good kind of pain he felt fairly proud Alfonse could inflict. Then again, it probably skewed his thoughts of such when a healer was immediately there to help them.

"Ha… Y-you… you as well…" But he wasn't the only one. Alfonse held a similar admiration, particularly after Lif bolstered him a bit. He did wince at how his chest ached, but it was immediately soothed when Lucius extended his healing magic to both of them when Kiran coaxed them to move close together. 

To say Lucius and Kiran felt differently was an understatement, particularly with how tense the two normally-passive men were. Alfonse in particular felt bad for worrying them, particularly the way Kiran glared to both of them and already said his peace well before their duel. But while he was careful in his choice words and approach, he wanted to test Lif on something he figured he had a better chance finding the answer through Lif's familiarity with wielding Sökkvabekkr than just any sword in general. 

Even if Lif's conscious memories were still a jumbled mess, Alfonse relied on Lif's automaticity instead. It was all but confirmed at this point that Lif was Askran, and he knew  _ that _ point had more than enough evidence to put his curiosity to rest about. 

But it wasn't enough that Lif was clearly Askran based on his fighting style. He  _ knew _ this fighting style. He fought against it before. Maybe Gustav had more of a preference toward axes deep down, but when Alfonse was younger and much less cautious to take up a shield as well, he used to fight much like this, albeit his skill back then was far less refined and brutal compared to Lif. He knew that of course Lif would adapt in his own way to improve what would carry him through battle, but for what Alfonse could recognize, it was so uncanny as to be chilling.

"Now, please. For your sakes, and our peace of mind, please take a moment to rest." 

Alfonse snapped back to attention. Lucius may have been among the more passive of the healers in the ranks, second only to healers like Sakura. But with how firm his tone was, he was learning bit by bit to drum up enough confidence when it mattered most to outright order his patients around. Maybe he couldn't always bolster himself up as to comfortably remain such at all times, but when he did, they knew better than to try to protest. 

So he listened. For now, he bided his time. Alfonse felt immediate relief from the healing, and he had more than enough energy to see him through the rest of his duties for the day, but he knew better than to broadcast such a fact when Lucius and Kiran were already so visibly irritated with them as it were. Lif wasn't quite as lucky as Alfonse, as while the Askran prince was able to slip away after parting ways with them, Lif still lingered behind with Kiran, which unfortunately kept him under the irritated summoner's watch. 

Then again he seemed to have a far calmer, softer demeanor with Kiran than he did with anyone else. The only one to come close was Sharena, otherwise. Alfonse knew as much Sharena radiated a positive, bright aura that made it hard for most heroes in general not to feel at least a little more hopeful after crossing paths with her, and Lif didn't seem to be immune to that either. But while Alfonse saw as much that they clearly got along well, there was something about Kiran that he saw Lif have a more pronounced reaction to than even Sharena. It was little things, like how his demeanor had slightly less of an edge, his tone was gentler, or how he seemed to smile just a bit stronger when he did. But once Alfonse saw even one of those tells, it was hard not to see all of them.

He hesitated. He warned Kiran long ago against getting too close to other heroes. He knew firsthand what it felt like when they would inevitably turn their back on them once their obligations were done. And he knew just enough of Kiran's background that he didn't want the summoner to experience the same kind of pain he felt once before. Not on top of all of the summoner's existing scars he - by some miracle - managed to still grin and push past, 'unaffected'.

Then again, he also knew that his sentiments were starting to ring hollow nowadays. This wasn't like when Kiran was bright-eyed and friendly to people like Marth, Hector or Chrom who Alfonse could subtly steer away from getting too attached to. This was another Askran. He knew just how hypocritical it was to warn him once again not to get too close to anyone when he himself saw Kiran almost like a brother, how Anna and Sharena were just as close and doting, and how the advice sounded more like 'don't get close to anyone who isn't Askran' nowadays. (Which, he also knew was a moot point on Lif even with that.)

But… nevertheless, Alfonse had more concerns about Lif than whatever was going on between him and Kiran. It was those kind of concerns that left Alfonse slipping away to their record halls with books both copied or 'borrowed' otherwise from Askr's capital to study. 

He may have thought before of his earlier memories of King Lif, and the significance to the name. The first time the thought crossed his mind, it was little else but a passing thought to draw comparisons between the first king of Askr and this drifter from Nohr.

But with that kind of fighting style… Now Alfonse wasn't as sure if such a thought really was all it was: just a random, passing thought. After all, if Kiran could pull all kind of legendary heroes into their base of operations - many of whom were from far flung points in time from one another, in fact - then would it really be different for Askr's history as well…?

But then it left Alfonse even more confused. After all,  _ Kiran _ didn't summon him. At least, he didn't act like he summoned him just to later bury the evidence for whatever reason. (Ah, there he goes again, thinking so harsh and critical on impulse…) It was one thing for Kiran to summon heroes like Chrom and Marth, and then give them time for both of them to let the implication set in they're both related, or the massive reaction Kiran  _ actually _ caused in Seliph when he summoned Sigurd in front of him, but if Kiran didn't summon Lif, how did he get in Nohr, and who called him? It was painfully obvious it wasn't Veronica by this point, especially when Lif never once tried to pose a threat under contract like every other hero to pass Veronica's hands, and Alfonse knew she wouldn’t have much patience to force him to befriend Kiran just to kill him, especially the numerous times they were alone together and had the chance. But then who else had that power?

Alfonse sighed and buried his face in his hands for a moment. Maybe it related to why Lif was amnesiac? Maybe Lif summoned himself and went so far off course as to wind up in Nohr without his memories? It may have been ridiculous when Alfonse probably would've never given Kiran a proper chance, had he been biased of having the power Kiran had that they needed all this time, but it wasn't like ancient Askrans  _ couldn't _ have such powers that his direct family long since lost, right? And besides, Veronica still clearly kept Embla's ability of such, even when he and Sharena didn't retain Askr's, somehow. For the sake of not developing a headache too soon, Alfonse figured he could take baby steps on his research in other areas before going back to comb over the more headache-inducing mysteries behind Lif. 

He took the top book from his file and cracked it open in front of him. It was going to be a long day, but fortunately, Askr maintained enough peace to allow such luxuries as an all-nighter for the moment. And while he brushed up on what Askr’s records had to say about King Lif, it’s not like their Lif was bound to do anything drastic in the meantime...right?

* * *

“Hey… Lif? How come you’re way out here on your own?”

Lif stopped himself in place and turned to look behind him, just in time to confirm the source of the voice was Kiran. Initially, Lif travelled along the dirt roads, but just off course, there was a path through the woods and along the grass he stepped off the trail to follow. Much like how the training helped him remember how to use his sword through practice, he felt like he travelled a similar path many times before, and it easily lured him away to see a glimpse of the path’s start again.

But what he didn’t quite realize was Kiran seemed to follow him for quite a bit, either accidentally or otherwise, and it wasn’t until Lif already walked quite a distance away off the road that Kiran tried to get his attention. Not that he minded Kiran following him around anyways, at this point, but he had a feeling Kiran didn’t initially plan to do such with how clumsily the summoner tucked away papers in his convoy just as Lif turned to face him, or how worried he looked overall.

"There's something about this route that seemed familiar." And while Lif hadn't quite forgotten about his nightmare of the last time he wandered off the roads and through the woods, he was even more cautious of how to retrace his steps back, and he at least chose to do this in broad daylight this time. 

"Really?" He was also glad that as much as the Order of Heroes were hopeful for him to recover his memories, and he appreciated the thoughts, Sharena and especially Kiran didn't try to push too much for him to recall things faster. Kiran was simply relieved of any progress no matter how long it took or how small the memory, so the lack of pressure helped ease him. He was even more relieved that Kiran didn't try to question the specifics to how he would recall places around Askr. He just accepted the progress for what it was.

"Do you have a moment?"

"Uh, sure!" He watched Kiran straighten himself out more, hoping Lif didn't notice his earlier haste to hide his original plans for the day.

"Then come with me." And to Kiran's relief, Lif didn't press him of it. He simply beckoned him closer, and it wasn't until Kiran was by his side that he continued onward again.

The rest of the walk was quiet, but neither of them necessarily minded it. Kiran watched the way Lif continued on his path, but noticed the way he slowed down or outright stopped at times just to look over a certain direction or try to stare at some other detail of the trees or bushes with heavy scrutiny. He tried to recall something about them and double-check himself every now and again.. So much of this area brought him a strong rush of nostalgia all of a sudden that Kiran not only trusted Lif knew what he was doing, but was amazed at how bright-eyed and focused he was underneath the intimidating, stoic demeanor he always had otherwise. It was like watching a cat fully engrossed in a hunt. It also left Kiran just as curious of what to expect, but hesitant to break Lif's focus. If anything, Kiran tried to take mental notes of what Lif looked for and where he was going, though was flustered with himself he wasn't sure what to look for like Lif.

Finally, the forest became less dense, and Kiran was much more aware of the sky, especially as the ground beneath them was fragmented, and their edges far more pronounced. Instead of grass, the now stone ground had similar interwoven line patterns etched as the patches of ground near where Kiran was first called to, back in Vaskrheim. As they got closer toward the edge of what’s quickly revealed to be a cliffside, Lif stopped, held out his arm to stop Kiran similarly, then pointed up ahead, drawing Kiran’s attention to look up with him.

Just past the cliff were several islands floating in midair. The foundation of many of the islands had large, jagged runes spread out from the bottom, all of which not only had patterns vaguely similar in style to the patterns etched on the stone ground they stood on, but the patterns glowed with unusual blue energy. Sitting on top of the otherwise ‘normal’ islands were ruins of what used to be various structures from gates, to coliseums, to temples, among other structures that withered and fractured under the test of time. Unfortunately, the full extent of what remained on each island could only be seen at a glance, particularly when neither Lif nor Kiran had any way to reach any of the islands directly.

“What… what’s all this…?” Kiran was left in awe. It was one thing to see designs like these in paintings, games or movies, but it was another to see islands like these in person. It was magical sights like these that continued to charm him about being in Askr over his home world. 

But Lif remained quiet. When Kiran looked up to Lif, he had a thin frown and a distant look in his eyes toward the islands Kiran couldn’t quite tell for sure if he was upset in some way or otherwise. When he broke the silence, he sighed, seeing something he knew was supposed to look a much different way than what he remembered it, even if he could only see glimpses from where they stood.

  
  


“Lif…?”

“It changed so much…” He shook his head, but still focused more on the ruins on the island than on Kiran.

“Did you come out here often?” He didn’t want to push Lif too hard, but Kiran moved just a little closer beside Lif.

“I think so. But I remember when it was still full of life. It was crowded with people coming and going. There was a dining hall, a plot of land for farming, a concert hall, hot springs, shops, schools…” But the more Lif listed off what he remembered, the more the slight glimpse of the ruins above became painful to look at, to the point his focus drifted lower down to the skies instead. The more he thought about it, the more he recalled the former glory of these ruins, even little things like the tables set for people to share tea and coffee, or how he was sure there were decorations that changed with the seasons, even if he couldn’t quite recall those specific decorations as vividly.

But what bothered him was how recent those memories felt. He could swear they were what they were fairly recently, like weeks or a month or so ago. Yet he could see enough of the ruins that the islands were abandoned and left to rot for what looked like centuries.

What happened? Had he really been gone for so long, or was there something else he still forgot?

“...rebuild it.”

Lif blinked. He was vaguely aware before that Kiran said something, but he only focused just enough to catch the end of what he said, and only because Kiran took his hand into his own and redirected his attention to him. Looking back to him, Kiran seemed happier - outright inspired, rather - in contrast to how Lif stared at him as if from afar.

“Hm…?”

“We can rebuild it! Or at least, we can ask Alfonse and Sharena, maybe. And I can ask around for manpower among the heroes to help, too! Like uh… getting up there in the first place…” 

This felt familiar. He heard someone tell him something very similar before that they could restore this place. With his focus somewhat wavering in his nostalgia, Lif blurted out the first thing that came to mind, just as Kiran continued.

“But maybe we shouldn’t try to make a profit off it.” “But maybe we shouldn’t let Anna try to market it.”

“Y-yeah! ...Oh, er-! That is…”

“*Ahem*”

“...N-not that it’s a bad thing, or that the commander’s bad! Or uh… But I mean if we restore it, but maybe just keep it free and…”

There was a very uncomfortable silence between the two that felt like it lasted far longer than it did. Kiran eventually let Lif’s hand go, and his focus was slightly lower and tried to avoid looking at Lif.

“...Please don’t tell Commander Anna I said that.”

“...Hm…...Hmhmhm.” 

He knew Kiran meant well, or tried, but while Anna would probably find out one way or another eventually, for now, Lif focused on Kiran's proposal. It was Lif's turn to take Kiran's hand, and while Kiran was quicker to look his way, he did perk in seeing Lif smile, even if very faintly.

"You have a point. We can try." 

"You don't mind if the others found out about this place?"

Lif shook his head. Regardless of who he remembered used to populate this place, it was painfully obvious even from here that they were gone now. There was little use to keep it that way, especially when he saw a moment ago that Kiran was clearly brimming with ideas even for the glimpse they saw.

"Maybe we should mark the trail then! So it'll be easier the next time we all come back."

"Do you have enough to mark the trail with?"

"Yeah! More than enough, I think."

"Then let's head back."

So they did. Much like what helped guide Lif to the floating islands in the first place, he had just as much ease in finding his way back to the main roads. He took slightly longer, however, in pausing every so often from Kiran's prompt or his own otherwise to leave an obvious mark wherever they could. He watched how all of Kiran's tools came from his convoy, but he alternated between the multiple dancer veils he used to tie around tree trunks, bringing out chalk to draw simple scribbles onto large rocks, or stab the ground with panic charms and fear charms when they reached parts of the route that had nothing close enough to mark instead without skewing the pathway. They both knew they had to come up with more proper, permanent ways to mark the trail than chalk, silks and spiky trinkets, but they simply wrote it off as something to add to the list of other things they had to plan for anyways.

Lif brought him back on a familiar dirt road, both of them returned to the base of the Order of Heroes, and Kiran took fairly little time to find Anna and Sharena to coax them to meet with Lif. 

However, Alfonse took a bit longer to find. Where Kiran didn’t see him in his usual hangouts, he eventually found out that Alfonse fell asleep part of the way into reading one of the books halfway through before he crashed. It took a moment for Alfonse to realize Kiran was truly there and talking to him, and not him somehow dreaming it, and even afterwards, Kiran still had to take Alfonse's hand to lead him right to Lif and quite a bit of the way along the trail before Alfonse was fully awake and alert just in time to see the islands.

"This is… If I wasn't looking at all this with my own two eyes, I wouldn't believe it… Even now, I'm  _ still _ not sure if I fully do." Anna couldn't take her eyes off them. For how calm Lif was, and how optimistic Kiran still remained, the latter brightened at the way the other Order of Heroes reacted between a similar excitement Sharena radiated, or the sense of awe Anna showed.

And then there was Alfonse, whose disbelief at what he saw combined with his recognition of all of this was like he saw a ghost.

"Right? I only saw stuff like this in fantasy, yet here it is." Then again it was easy enough for Kiran to say in his own world, but there were so many ways Zenith and the other worlds in this universe showed how the impossible in Kiran's world was just par for the course here. For this point, however, Anna nodded.

"Alfonse? Is something wrong?" As excited as Sharena was to see something that embodied their childhood, she worried over how her brother had a less enthused reaction at the sight. In a daze, he briefly looked between the islands and to Lif, noticed the way the other swordsman rose an eyebrow to him in concern, then stared back up entirely on the islands.

"No, i-it's nothing." He cleared his throat and straightened himself up, as unconvinced as everyone else initially were. "This is the Aether Keep. I thought these were just fairy tales, but…" But combined with Lif, he wondered…

"It's like a dream, isn't it, Alfonse~?" Figuring that his earlier dazed reaction was just how stunned he was of the sight, Sharena relaxed, as did everyone else in their own pace. "It's exactly like what Mother would tell us when we were little! Castles flying in the sky, like a bird~"

"Yes… But… You two found this just now?"

"Oh! It's moreso Lif than me." As Alfonse turned his attention to Kiran and Lif, Kiran was quick to point Lif out and give him full credit. With how much Lif and Alfonse were starting to get along, Kiran didn't think twice of it. 

Which concerned him when Alfonse seemed more hesitant than anything at the answer.

  
  


"I see… That is rather… I see."

"...Alf, is something wrong?"

He shook his head, but Kiran tensed more.

"It's not bad. Just interesting. You see, the Aether Keep was left behind by the first king of Askr, Lif."

Everyone fell silent for an uncomfortable moment. Yet again, when Kiran looked up to Lif, he had a blank look on his face that Kiran couldn't help but feel he was trying a little too hard to hide his true feelings. It worked just enough that he couldn't initially tell what was running through his mind.

"Oh! What a coincidence, heehee~!" Sharena was the first to break the silence, but where she was the quickest to remain optimistic and consider it no big deal, the uncomfortable looks and uncertain feeling among everyone else left her confused and deflated when everyone else had a much different conclusion.

A conclusion she eventually caught on to, but was in disbelief of.

  
  


"Wait… But, Alf, you said-"

"I know…" 

"B-but King Lif would've-"

"I thought that too, at first. But now? Not necessarily…"

As much as Alfonse was well aware he was going against everything he said before, now he wasn't as certain. Initially, Alfonse was torn on where to even begin of why his thoughts changed about Lif.

"...What happened to this place?"

But while Kiran hesitated, especially with what thoughts Lif earlier shared the last time they were both here, it caught Alfonse's attention that something about this place jogged Lif's memories.

"Lif…" 

"It wasn't like this before… Because of Kiran, he was able to help me remember this used to be a far livelier place. It was like a town all of its own. And yet, now it's dormant and in ruins. There isn't even a trail from here to your fortress. What happened?"

With not only Lif asking, but his choice words, it was all but confirmed to Alfonse of his conclusion. He could also see the way Lif tensed and how much the ruins weighed on his mind, proving to him that Lif seemed to feel strongly enough he recovered his memories of the Aether Keep. The conclusion weighing on his mind and the discovery of the Aether Keep weren’t the issues Alfonse had.

“It was possibly due to battling in the heavens…”

Rather, it was the dread he felt of having to inform Lif of what happened since his original passing.

“Wha…?” Even Sharena was confused of the answer, and she voiced a thought Kiran and especially Lif seemed at a loss for words themselves over. Alfonse sighed, but with a heavy heart, clarified.

“I happened to read up on some things all night, but… As I said before, Lif was the first king of Askr, and he named the kingdom after the dragon of the same name, whom he formed a pact with. Besides his power, Embla’s first queen, Thrasir, also had a similar power. He was the one who first discovered the Aether Keeps and founded their construction and use. They’re islands founded on runes imbued with aether, and because of that aether, those islands were used to travel the skies to incredible heights. It contributed to why Askrans associated King Lif with birds, particularly herons, and also why herons are often depicted in Askran statues and tapestries even today.”

“So… What happened to the Aether Keeps?” With a cautious glance to the islands, Kiran noticed more how some structures seemed overwhelmed by nature running its course, but others had signs he couldn’t tell anymore if they were caused by just the passage of time alone, or some kind of attack. 

Alfonse’s hesitation didn’t inspire much confidence about the former thoughts.

"Ancient Askrans not only continued to use the Aether Keeps to travel the skies, but they did battle in other realms. The ultimate goal was to soar ever higher into the sky. It became a battle for power over the heavens, employing special weaponry both for offensive and defensive use. They may have started after King Lif's reign came to an end."

Alfonse watched Lif's reaction carefully. Out of anyone, Kiran was the only one brave enough to stick directly by his side. Lif initially tensed. He gave Alfonse the benefit of the doubt he was truthful, and let it all sink in what happened with what he left behind. 

There were more memories he recalled otherwise, however. He remembered there were battles with larger weapons, and traps littering the floor in the form of special-colored plates, but the part that was a town was separate for that. Or maybe he faced so many battles that it blurred after a while. But the town fell once before. There were people who collapsed - for what, he couldn't quite recall - all over the place. On the streets, doubled over countertops, collapsed besides chairs or stools they fell from… And there was a woman whose red and black clothing stood out to him the most, who oversaw it all with him.

They didn’t do battle after he died. They did it even as he was still there. If that’s the case… did  _ he _ do this?

“....guys!”

Where his eyes were clouded over in his brewing guilt of what he recalled, he snapped back to the present. It was brief, but when Lif was caught up in his own thoughts, Anna and Alfonse tried to give him space, and he was even more aware Kiran wasn’t by his side anymore.

“Hey, guys! Over here! Look, you can see the whole thing from here~!”

Instead, in the brief moment Lif tuned out, he was not only aware he had a very faint pain in his palm from clenching his fist and digging the nails of his gauntlet almost too deep to cut himself, but Sharena found a cliffside she ran up to and stood on, and Kiran was trailing her a few feet behind before catching up. This alone didn’t bother him.

What  _ did _ bother him, however, was how many cracks and lines he could trace with his eyes that littered the entire foundation of that cliffside compared to how smoother and sturdier the foundation looked, the further away from the edge he looked.

His legs were already moving well before he had the conscious idea to go to Sharena and Kiran.

“So how much damage are we looking at?” Compared to Lif, Anna and Alfonse were focused more on Sharena directly than what she stood on. The thought didn’t cross their minds quite yet that the ground she stood on may not have been quite as sturdy as it initially seemed. Much like Kiran, Anna also immediately had thoughts of assessing the damage and rebuilding, but whether or not there was profit to be had remained to be seen.

“Weeeell…. Definitely a bit of a mess… And I think one of those buildings might’ve had a huge fire… And that tree is probably gonna fall over and take half of that building with it…”

“Yikes… So we’re basically starting from scratch I guess?”

“Oh no! There’s still plenty that’s still good! I think…” But even Sharena knew the process would neither be quick nor easy.

“So… this is fixable? You can salvage this?” Kiran still had faith in the Order of Heroes that they could help, but it also eased him to have some confirmation.

“Of course~!” So it brightened him up even moreso when Sharena happily gave that confirmation without a second thought. “Maybe it’ll keep everyone busy for quite a while, and it’s really seen better days from the looks of it… But we can definitely fix this! Or, well, it’ll certainly be worth it to try, heehee~”

As distracted as Sharena and Kiran were, eventually, Alfonse glanced lower down when he barely caught something moving in the corner of his eye. With a chill, he focused quickly enough to realize they were bits of the foundation of the cliff the two immediately stood over, and that foundation was starting to crumble a little under their weight.

_ “Sharena! Kiran! Get back here!” _

“Sheesh, alriiiight, come on Kir-ah-?!”

Unfortunately, even just the act to turn and move, the already-stressed cliff only continued to buckle under the extra weight of two people. Because they didn’t know to take light steps, and because they were already right at where the ground was weakest, the two immediately lost their earlier spirit when both immediately panicked at feeling the ground start to sink underfoot. The two grabbing each other and trying to run only made the problem worse when the cliff started to collapse farther ahead of them, and not just where they stood.

The whole time Anna and Alfonse were distracted with Sharena and Kiran, they completely missed sight of Lif until he was within reach of Sharena and Kiran. Unfortunately, his attempt to approach them inadvertently disturbed the ground too soon, but fortunately, Lif moved quickly enough to not only reach out and grab both of them before they could fall, but demonstrated he had the strength to carry them just as he backed off from the cliff’s edge. 

Hearts raced and Lif didn’t let his grip go on either of them until he backed far and well onto sturdier open land. It left both Anna and Alfonse equally stunned yet relieved that Lif rescued them in time, but they were even more baffled he had a surprising amount of strength as to hold the two with either hand with the relative ease of handling kittens.

It took a moment for Lif to realize this as well. His eyes quivered, and he was rather slow to lower Sharena and Kiran, and slower still to let the two go. The thought didn’t even cross his mind how he did it, only that they were safe. He barely noticed their frightened looks melting in favor of relief, excitement and admiration.

“L-Lif… Thank you~”

“Wow~ You’re  _ really _ strong~! Heehee, it’s good you were so close by!”

“Mm-hmm…” He was at a loss of words. As much as Lif cleared his throat awkwardly, the three of them focused on Anna and Alfonse, just as the two quickly caught up to them, barely letting go of their own panic of what just happened.

“...We ah… I believe we need more thorough planning of where to lay down the foundations of bridges and such, I guess…” 

“Agreed…” Of the two, Alfonse was quicker to try to calm down over what he just saw, but Kiran and Sharena couldn’t tell how much of it was genuine and how much of it was him simply forcing himself to look calm enough just to save face. While it took Anna clearing her throat, she was a bit better at masking her own feelings with the distraction of new opportunities at hand.

“A-anyway, *ahem* we’re gonna need to give this place a proper look-over, so let’s head back for now and get some more help. Once we get a better idea of what we’re working with, we can plan out what to set up here. In the meantime, I guess I gotta pay princess Minerva and the Whitewings a visit.”

“I can find Hinoka and Camilla, too. Could you ask Florina as well, Sharena? She uh… probably still doesn’t feel comfortable around me still, and I don’t want to upset her…”

“It’s no trouble at all, Kiran~! I’ll ask around, too, but leave Florina to me!”

To Lif’s relief, Sharena and Kiran weren’t any worse for wear for what happened. The further away the group moved from the Aether Keep, the less tense the group were overall, until the earlier panic eased completely. As much as Sharena was the most talkative of the group, already brimming with ideas of what they could potentially do with what she saw of the ruins, Lif fell completely silent the entire trek back, and he also trailed at the very end of the group just to keep a better eye on them collectively. With how Sharena coaxed the others to give their own ideas and input, with Kiran being the most receptive of such, nobody questioned Lif otherwise. Eventually, when they all made it back to the fortress safely, everyone scattered to find help.

* * *

However, Lif wasn’t completely off the hook. Not that he protested it. It was painfully obvious that Lif didn’t have any connections outside of his tentative friendship with the Order of Heroes proper, and thus couldn’t help nearly as well as the others could, especially Sharena and Kiran.

But as much as Kiran looked for Camilla and Hinoka with all the confidence of a cornered rabbit, Sharena stuck behind the longest when Anna and Alfonse similarly went their own ways with their own plans to prepare for the Aether Keep.

“Heeeey~ Lif! Come with me, will ya?”

She had her plans, but not all of them were necessarily for just the Aether Keep after all.

“Hm?” 

“I know we got a bit distracted back there… well… mainly because of me and Kiran and what happened earlier, I know… But did you think I’d forget so easily?”

Even if Sharena didn’t, Lif did. The slow blink he did in staring at her didn’t inspire much confidence. Neither did her pouting.

“Aww c’mon!”

“Ah, maybe I’m a little more tired than I thought.” Not really, he was just trying to save face. “May you remind me, perhaps?”

“Aww… Alriiight…” Thankfully, Lif’s ploy worked, and Sharena relented. “You remember what my brother was saying earlier, right? About the Aether Keep and the first king of Askr?”

“Yes…?” It flustered him he followed it as a stated fact, but not quite enough to truly take it in. (Maybe he  _ was _ more tired than he thought, after all.)

“Haha, silly~! He was talking about  _ you! _ Soooo, if you’re the same Lif as the First King, you’re like our however-many-greats grandpa! We’re family~!”

He blinked again. She initially remained smiling in her proud proclamation of their relationship, but it didn’t take long for her to pout yet again, too.

“....Heeeey, what’s  _ that _ look for?! Honestly, I feel like  _ I _ shouldn’t be so surprised, let alone you! There’s so much about you that felt familiar in a way, and now we know why!”

“...Ah. I understand, it’s… You’ll forgive me if I need a little more time for such news to truly sink in.” 

“Hmph! Ok, ok, I’ll cut you some slack, Great-Gramps.”

As much as Lif didn’t feel strongly for or against it, Sharena’s enthusiasm was quickly rubbing off on him. He shook his head with a soft sigh, but she picked up the smile slowly creeping on his lips. It took even less for Sharena to immediately brighten up again.

“ _ Aha!  _ Got you! But I get it. You’re way too young-looking and spry for that, huh. I could just call you just plain ol Lif still.”

“I ah… Well… I don’t really mind either way, I suppose.” And it was true. He barely knew how to feel as it were of it, especially when the revelation remained too fresh, and paled in comparison to his earlier panic. 

However, seeing Sharena seemed so happy and thrilled of the revelation, and how quickly she embraced it… He didn’t feel right trying to brush that off, despite what he thought personally of suddenly being a distant-generation grandfather all of a sudden.

“Oh really~? In that case, maybe I’ll mix it up. Just to keep you on your toes and all, heheheheh~” 

“...Heh. Very well.”

For now, he was patient of it. Compared to how Kiran was usually a little more shy, even while trying an otherwise bold move like grabbing Lif’s hand, Sharena wasn’t quite as reserved in not just grabbing his hand, but tugging his arm a little too.

“For now, come with me, will you? I wanna show you around more!”

“But you gave me a tour of the fortress before.”

“Not like that! I meant the other heroes! A lot of them are pretty friendly, and they’d love to meet you too~ Just follow me, will you?”

Without resistance or protest, Sharena led the way, and Lif easily followed. He may not have been the most vocal of the two, but people clearly knew Sharena, didn't mind focusing on her far more than him, and while he was cordial when he spoke, he remained mostly quiet in favor of Sharena's greetings and requests. She was happy enough Lif humored her, and something of this felt familiar enough to be worth it.

* * *

"Oh! Lif. Do you have a moment?"

When he was at least acquainted with Sharena's friends, next came Alfonse. Compared to her, Alfonse maintained a slight distance between the two, even when Lif could tell they were on far better terms nowadays compared to when they first met.

His first hint to tip him off of such was when he noticed not only did the look on Alfonse's face seemed mellow and full of guilt, but he held a much stronger air of caution and respect as he moved just close enough to bow his head to Lif out of respect. Combined with Sharena's earlier enthusiasm, Lif couldn't truly say he was surprised, but something about seeing Alfonse do such left him feeling like he was the last person to deserve such a gesture somehow.

"I must apologize… In my doubts, I treated you unfairly with my suspicions. Of all people, to treat my ancestor of such, I-"

"Don't." It didn't sit right to stay quiet of it this time. None of it sat well with him. But Lif couldn't tell if it was due to how Alfonse approached it with shame and guilt compared to Sharena's pride and optimism, or if there was something else he hadn't fully realized yet. "There's no need for that. I understand and would've done the same. Even now, there are things I still don't trust about myself."

But to Lif's relief, Alfonse didn't pry on what those things were. Rather, the quick forgiveness caught him off guard briefly.

"At the very least, I wanted to give something to you."

Lif could see the similarities in the siblings in their approach. In Alfonse's case, it wasn't yet another tour of the fort, or Alfonse introducing him to varieties of heroes, but something simpler and private. His gift to Lif came in the form of a single, heavily thick scroll.

"It was from a combination of several books, but I condensed what I could find about you in our history books. At the very least, maybe this could bring you a little closer to retrieving your memories."

"You really…? ...Thank you, Alfonse."

"As unusual as the circumstances were of how we crossed paths with you, I'm glad for it, Lif. Even if I took it for granted before…"

"Alfonse-"

"I know. I want to at least start over on the right foot."

He could see how much Alfonse was trying his best. But he could also see how much the gesture, as slight as it was to be barely even enough to annoy Lif, much less upset him, had a more pronounced effect on Alfonse's conscience instead. Were the roles reversed, however, Lif felt he might've thought and acted roughly the same.

Alfonse held out his hand, not to take anything, but to shake hands with Lif.

"...So… what say you of it?"

Truthfully, there was nothing. But Lif didn't want to leave it at nothing. 

"I say yes. We can try again, Alfonse."

Lif already made his decision just over the scroll alone. For what else Alfonse did, he took Alfonse's hand with no hesitation, and with a smile, and a firm shake, they both made their mutual respect to each other loud and clear when words alone weren't enough.


End file.
